Howard: You're a grown man; act like it.
Raj: Big talk coming from a guy holding an Archie comic book.
Howard: Hey, werewolf Jughead is not your dad's Jughead.

Amy: Are you sure that's what you want?
Sheldon: As sure as I'm about to go bathe in Purell.

Sheldon: Oh please, I have grudges that go back to preschool. Someday, I'm gonna find a grown-up Elaine Dwyer and eat her favorite crayon while she watches.
Amy: Is that why there's an Elaine Dwyer on our guest list?
Sheldon: Yes. That night, I'm going to have the first dance and the last laugh.

Penny: Amy, oh, my God.
Bernadette: You look so beautiful.
Amy: I feel beautiful. And look, both clavicles. Take that, Mom.
Bernadette: You know what they say: if you got 'em, flaunt 'em.

Penny: Boy, you know, when Sheldon sees you in that dress, he's gonna want to methodically take it off, fold it up, carefully place it in a storage box, label it, and then ravish you.

Amy: You know, dealing with cold feet is an important part of being both best man and maid of honor. Maybe we should test for that ability.
Sheldon: You really think you might get cold feet?
Amy: Actually, I was talking about you.
Sheldon: Amy if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of, you are right to be worried.

Bernadette: You know, you're a successful woman. You should be able to brag about your accomplishments once in a while.
Amy: Well, so should you. I mean, the guys are never shy about bragging.
Bernadette: Tell me about it. Howie texts me every time his dog levels up in Warcraft.

Penny: Hey, I thought you were coming right back.
Leonard: I was, but we're both depressed, and decided to drown our sorrows.
Penny: With mouthwash? Man, that is so summer camp.
Sheldon: It's Romulan ale, from Star Trek.
Leonard: It was briefly legalized during the alliance between the Romulan Empire and the Federation at the time of the Dominion War.
Penny: Aw, now I'm depressed.

Amy: And if we're not enjoying planning this wedding, then what's the point?
Sheldon: Well, historically, a wedding was to let other potential suitors know that we're unavailable. But I think matching T-shirts that say "Hands off the merchandise" accomplish the same thing.

Amy: Tomorrow we'll go downtown and get married.
Sheldon: Or we could go to Beverly Hills City Hall if you want a destination wedding.

Penny: Hello, Leonard. I was gonna write you an e-mail, but I'm a little drunk, and spelling is a sober person's game, so I feel I owe you a 'splanation. I-- I'm sorry. A 'splanation.

Sheldon: Oh, but I do have several bottles of Romulan ale that I bought at Comic-Con.
Leonard: Isn't that just vodka with blue dye in it?
Sheldon: First, physics, now Romulan ale. What else would you like to defecate on?

Sheldon: And look at the cool incentives I'm offering.
Leonard: "For $50,000, I will examine your diet and create a customized bathroom schedule." That's fitting, 50 grand down the toilet.

Stuart: Hey, Howard.
Howard: Hey.
Stuart: Where is everybody?
Howard: I could ask you the same question.
Stuart: Wow, this conversation got mean fast.

Penny: So you guys are upset because the collider thing disproved your theories?
Leonard: It's worse than that. It hasn't found anything in years, so we don't know if we're right, we don't know if we're wrong. We don't know where to go next.
Sheldon: All I know is it looks like I tongue-kissed Avatar.