Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.
Howard: You really want to drive?
Sheldon: It seems like the perfect time. The roads are straight, there's no one around, and you don't seem to care if you live or die.
Howard: Live, Sheldon. I want to live.
Sheldon: That makes things a little trickier, but I'll do my best.

Bernadette: Hey, what are you two doing here?
Ruchi: We won't stay long. I just wanted to drop something off from me and the girls at work.
Bernadette: None of the girls at work like me enough to get me a gift.
Ruchi: Okay, so you'll know why everyone at the office has the same handwriting.

Howard: Hey, I barely know how to be a man myself. Now I have to teach someone?
Sheldon: Well, as the saying goes, those who can't, teach.

Sheldon: Leonard, can you drive me to work?
Leonard: Yeah, sure. Oh, hey, the guys and I were talking about going to see the Tesla coil at the observatory later on, if you want to join.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm busy.
Leonard: Why? What are you doing?
Penny: Leonard, what are you doing? He said he can't go. Make a sad face, move on.

Penny: You know, that documentary last night was actually better than I thought it would be.
Leonard: Really? Should've been about Samuel Morse the way they telegraphed that ending.
Penny: I already pretended to laugh at that joke once. Do I have to do it again?
Leonard: Yeah, I'd appreciate it. (chuckles)
Penny: (forced laugh) Samuel Morse. You kill me.

Leonard: Edison was kind of a publicity hog and a bully.
Raj: Yeah, he electrocuted an elephant named Topsy just to make himself famous. If I had an elephant named Topsy, he would want for nothing. Also, he'd be named Jumbo.

Raj: Can we start the movie? Before Sheldon gets here?
Howard: Last time we did that, he didn't talk to us for a month. So do it!

Penny: So, Tesla's the one that invented the electric car?
Sheldon: (laughs) No, Penny. No, the car is just named after him.
Penny: Okay, you don't have to be so smug about it. You know, you went to see that movie It because you thought it was about scary I.T. guys.

Leonard: It's the greatest scientific feud of all time. I mean, you can forget about Leibniz and Newton.
Penny: Done.

Howard: It feels like it wasn't that long ago we were here doing this for Halley.
Bernadette: 'Cause it wasn't. Which reminds me, before we leave, let's get you a vasectomy.
Howard: Oh, that's sweet, but today is all about you.

Howard: So how was your night with Ruchi?
Raj: Oh, great. We ordered in some food, we had sex, I left. I didn't even ask if she enjoyed it.
Howard: (chuckles) I can field that one for her.
Raj: I mean, I did get a little misty when we said good-bye, but I played it off as allergies. I don't know if she bought it.
Howard: Again, I know.

Sheldon: I said some pretty unprofessional things about his work. I may have even used the "S" word.
Amy: Subpar?
Sheldon: I'm not proud of it, Amy, but I have a temper.

Raj: When we gaze out at the immensities of space, we understand them because there are immensities within us as well. I'm Dr. Rajesh Koothrappali, and thank you for taking a walk with me ... through the stars.
Leonard: That pause gets longer every show.
Howard: I believe ... you're right.

Georgie: Look, I mean, I always looked out for him at school. I drove him everywhere. I apologized to people when he was rude.
Leonard: Yeah. I've done all that. I've also removed all the red balloons from his Lucky Charms because they weren't "Irish enough".

Raj: So, yeah, Mr. Mark? When you were on the, uh, Wookiee home planet, how did you even understand what they were saying?
Mark Hamill: I don't remember ever being on a Wookiee home planet.
Stuart: Uh, actually, Luke was on the Wookiee home planet, Kashyyyk, in the Holiday Special when he helped Chewie get home to his wife.
Mark Hamill: Chewie had a wife?
Stuart: Her name's Malla.
Denise: Wow, that's impressive.
Stuart: Yeah.