Leonard: It's okay. We're all here to help.
Sheldon: Yes. And this baby will have plenty of manly role models. Now, I'm certain that whatever Bernadette can't teach him, Penny can.
Leonard: Uh, she can pee into a bottle.
Penny: Mm-hmm. Anything with a neck wider than a nickel.

Howard: I haven't looked at all this stuff in years.
Sheldon: Had it. Had it. Burnt down my garage with it.

Howard: Could never bring myself to open it without him. It's silly.
Sheldon: No, it's not silly. I always wanted my dad to build rockets with me, but he wasn't interested.
Raj: Ah, yes, disappointing fathers. Tell me about it. I remember for my 16th birthday, my dad bought me a Mercedes. Like, a little one, like a starter Mercedes. He had barely handed me the keys before he had to rush back to work. I didn't see him again till, like, pretty late that night.

Howard: Oh, I should've brought peanuts.
Sheldon: You can't eat peanuts. You're allergic. If you die, who's going to drive me home?
Howard: I'm not gonna eat them. It's a thing they do at JPL. When the Ranger mission finally had a successful launch, there were peanuts in the room. Ever since then, they have them at every launch.
Sheldon: That sounds like a silly superstition.
Howard: It's more of a tradition.
Sheldon: Oh! I do love a tradition. Could you pull over at the next peanut store?
Howard: I don't think that's a real thing.
Sheldon: Oh, don't be pedantic. Any nut store will do.
Howard: I don't think we can get peanuts out here.
Sheldon: Ah, well, then this whole day's ruined.
Howard: Now that I think about it, maybe it is more of a superstition.
Sheldon: Whew! That was close.

Howard: All right. Here we go. L-minus ten, nine-
Sheldon: Wait, what are you doing? It's "T-minus".
Howard: I was an astronaut. We used L-minus.
Sheldon: But this is a Saturn V, and when they launched those, they said "T-minus"
Howard: It's my rocket! We're doing it my way.
Sheldon: Fine. I'm not saying I know why your dad left, but I think I'm getting an idea.
Howard: L-minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six-
Sheldon: 'Cause you're kind of bossy.

Howard: Sheldon, what am I gonna do? I mean, what do I know about raising a boy?
Sheldon: What do you know about raising a girl?
Howard: Oh, my God, you're right.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know if that was sarcasm or not.
Howard: So, either you're welcome, or hey!

Penny: Leonard, did you really just text me from the couch to put extra mustard on your sandwich?
Leonard: I was worried you might not check your e-mail.

Raj: You don't know what this little boy's gonna be like. Maybe he'll be rough and tumble, or maybe he'll be sweet and sensitive, or maybe he'll be all those things, like me.

Amy: What's up?
Leonard: Penny's been talking to my mother like they're best friends, and it's kind of freaking me out.
Amy: Okay I'm pretty sure they're not best friends. 'Cause you can only have one best friend. And Penny has that, and (clicks tongue) it's me.

Howard: Then why don't you ever drive yourself?
Sheldon: Honestly, I barely passed my test. And the one time I drove on my own, I made a U-turn, got dizzy, threw up and walked home.

Beverly Hofstadter: Hi, Pen- Oh, hello, Leonard.
Leonard: Hello, Mother. How are you?
Beverly Hofstadter: Fine. And you?
Leonard: I'm great.
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, it's been lovely catching up.
Leonard: Wait. Hang on. We need to talk.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, brother.

Sheldon: See, he gets Ewoks in his bed.
Amy: You've got Chewbacca. That's enough.

Penny: Yeah, no more stories about sex, so, Amy, that brings us to you.
Amy: Well, at work we've been doing some interesting research with neuroprosthetics.
Penny: Neat. I've been rewatching The O.C., so we're all leading productive lives.

Amy: We've been working on a computer interface that can use brain wave patterns to control robotic limbs, but we're having a little trouble localizing the signal from the EEG cap.
Howard: Oh, well, have you thought about adding a phased array of sensors for better localization?
Amy: Actually, that never occurred to me.
Penny: It never occurred to me I would miss the Ewok conversation.
Leonard: Good, because I just bought another one on Amazon.

Amy: You know, I could use an engineer on this project.
Sheldon: Well, now, this works out great. Howard's an engineer. I'm sure he knows someone qualified.