Raj: I can't believe you haven't seen Avatar yet. What is wrong with you?
Leonard: Penny and I just started dating, and you know I don't like big crowds.
Raj: Because you're afraid Penny will leave you for someone in them?
Leonard: Terrified.

Sheldon: Yes, instead of going out, they just stay home and have constant coitus.
Leonard: Well, I didn't want to say it, but I-I do like to hear it.

Zack: Oh, also, there was that video about how much she missed you.
Penny: What video?
Zack: The one on the laptop. I didn't mean to invade your privacy, but I am a huge snoop. Ask my neighbor. She'll tell you. But not right now; she's in the shower.

Raj: Hey, I need some fashion advice.
Amy: Really? From me? I would love to-
Raj: Actually, Leonard told me Penny was over here...

Raj: I'd be in charge of developing and narrating all the planetarium shows. And I really want this, so it wouldn't kill you to be more supportive.
Howard: But if it did, you could bury me at the funeral home you direct.

Dr. Koothrappali: Son, don't take this the wrong way, but what's your problem?
Raj: I would tell you, but apparently it takes 45 minutes.

Dr. Koothrappali: I, too, was in a relationship with someone who made me feel bad about myself.
Raj: If you're talking about Mom, I don't want to hear it.
Dr. Koothrappali: I'm just saying, if you replace Howard with a nice 22-year-old grad student, your self-confidence will soar.

Penny: I'm so sorry the interview didn't go well.
Leonard: Yeah, you would've been perfect for it.
Raj: Oh, I just get so nervous, and then I start apologizing for being nervous, and- You guys don't want to hear about this. I'm sorry.
Penny: Stop apologizing!
Raj: Oh, my God! You sound just like the woman at the interview!

Raj: You know what? I think we're both done being disrespected.
Leonard: (Penny looks at Leonard) I got a few rounds left in me.
Penny: Attaboy, champ.

Howard: Really? You're not gonna sit here?
Raj: I'll sit there as soon as you leave.
Howard: You're still on this? I said sorry.
Raj: Well, "sorry" doesn't make up for years of emotional abuse.
Howard: (sighs) Well, what's it gonna take? You want half my sandwich?

Sheldon: Oh, good, you're here. I've decided on our centerpieces. I just hope your family isn't allergic to asbestos.

Raj: I came here to celebrate! Yeah. I went back to the planetarium and told them they were making a huge mistake, that I'd be perfect for the job. I was I was charming, I was confident. And they gave it to me.
Penny: Wow.
Leonard: (chuckles) That's amazing!
Raj: Yeah, plus, it turns out the guy they hired got busted at a sketchy massage parlor.
Penny: Oh, so happy ending for you! Oh, and for him.

Raj: You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman?
Howard: Is that Wonder Woman?
Raj: Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady.
Howard: Then I take it back; it's a great party.

Sheldon: I don't like kids, but I do like birthday cake. Oh, wait, will there be sugary icing flowers on it?
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: I'll risk it. But if I have a tantrum and have to leave early, you'll know why.

Stuart: Don't stress about this party. She's one; she's not gonna remember. The other day I showed her her toe, and she was shocked.
Howard: It's not for the baby; it's for Bernadette. She's feeling guilty about all the stuff she's missing with Halley.
Stuart: All right. Uncle Stuart's got your back. Ain't no party like a Stuart party because Stuart's never invited to parties.