Raj: W-What is he doing here?
Howard: I found his dog and guilted him into officiating the wedding. Don't tell Sheldon. It's a surprise.
Raj: Wait, I-I thought Wil was officiating the wedding.
Howard: Yeah, so did he.
Raj: How did he take the news?
Howard: I'll let you know.

Leonard: Everyone's waiting. What are you guys doing?
Amy: Super asymmetry.
Leonard: Super asymmetry? Is that a thing?
Sheldon: We're inventing it right now.
Leonard: Don't you think this can wait until - Hold on. This is interesting.

Raj: Wow, I admire you, Howard. It would be hard for me to buck traditional gender roles like that.
Howard: Didn't you see Taylor Swift twice this month?
Raj: Yeah, because she's hot, not because she sings my truth.

Sheldon: It's fine. I don't need to be a theoretical physicist. There's lots of things I could use this brain for. I could be an accountant for the mob. I could guess people's weight at the fair.

Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Here, I found this pizza flyer in your fence.
Wil Wheaton: Thank you.
Sheldon: Okay, now you owe me a favor. Turn down the role of Professor Proton.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, can we do this another time? Amy's just about to realize she wants to watch a Hulk marathon.

Raj: You just have to wait for science to catch up or technology to get cheaper. Think about, uh, DVD players. They used to cost, like, a thousand dollars, but just the other day I used one to smash a bug.

Raj: So, what do you want us to do?
Penny: I don't know. You're scientists; cheer them up.
Howard: "Cheer them up"? Do you even know what a scientist is?

Howard: I know where we need to go.
Leonard: Are we running there? Because watching drunk Sheldon run would be the highlight of my life.

Raj: Oh, you were born in Trivandrum? Have you ever been to the Kuthira Malika Palace?
Ruchi: No, I haven't.
Raj: Me, either. What a small world.
Stuart: I've also never been there. I've never been lots of places. Go on, quiz me.

Howard: Okay, let's talk about something that won't infuriate my pregnant wife.
Raj: I read an interesting fact about elephants.
Howard: Try again.

Ruchi: I'm sorry, we're being rude talking about India.
Raj: Oh, yeah, you know, if you and Bernadette want to talk about America, that's cool with us. Here, let me get you started. (In an American accent) Hamburgers, am I right?

Penny: You know, she's been opening up about her life, and she's actually been really supportive about mine.
Leonard: Really?
Penny: Yeah. I've been telling her about my job, and she said she was proud of me.
Leonard: Well, that's great. Never told me she was proud of me. Even when I stayed dry for a whole month.

Penny: Do you not want me to be friends with your mom?
Leonard: Well, let's be clear. I-I married you to hurt her. You're kind of ruining it.

Sheldon: It is a big deal. Howard's getting Amy used to laughing and listening to music. What if she expects that madness at home?