Sheldon: Are we done talking about Howard's failed conjugal relations? I have an actual Nobel Prize crisis to deal with.
Raj: Has anything changed since the last time you talked about it?
Sheldon: No.
Howard: Is there anything you can do about it?
Sheldon: No.
Raj: Then shut up or go wait in the car!

Penny: So none of them are coming to the reception?
Amy: I don't think so.
Penny: Okay, what did he say that was so insulting?
Amy: Well, he may have suggested there was an inelegance to the quadrupole normalization of Smoot's data.
Penny: Damn.

Bernadette: Oh. That is bright!
Howard: Yeah, a new neighbor put in floodlights.
Bernadette: Huh.
Howard: So, shall we?
Bernadette: No. I don't want to take my robe off under a spotlight. This is a candle body.

Sheldon: All right, bagels down. Before we head to the airport, I'd like to go over a few things.
[others groan]
Sheldon: From the moment we step off the plane, each and every one of you is an ambassador for Amy and myself.
Howard: [to Bernadette] I told you these tickets weren't free.

Amy: Sheldon, this isn't about ruing. This is about humbly accepting a great honor.
Sheldon: Amy, we won the Nobel Prize in Physics. Humility is for people who win the goofy Nobels like Literature, Economics and Peace.
Amy: Please tell me that's not in your speech.
Sheldon: Oh. I can cut it, but it's the only joke I have.

Bernadette: Remember, I'm leaving you with two babies. I expect to see two babies when I get back, and they better be the same two babies because I'll know.

Penny: All right, now, I'm sure some of you are wondering, "Who is this woman? "How did she get to be in charge of the sales team? Is it because she's friends with Dr.
Rostenkowski?" Because she is.
"Is it because she was Miss Cornhusker 2001 and still fits in those very same jeans?" 'Cause she was, and she does, and they're actually a little baggy.
Or is it because she's the best damn salesperson here? Because I am.
Now that we're clear on that, here are the drug specs and marketing strategy for Inflamminex. Which, now that I say it out loud, might be a placeholder.

President Siebert: All right. I respect your decision.
Sheldon: You do?
President Siebert: Yes. You and Dr. Fowler have my full support.
Sheldon: Oh, okay. I anticipated a little more pushback.
President Siebert: Sorry, my job here is to serve your needs, both academic and personal.
Sheldon: Huh. Well, now I'm filled with all this nervous energy. I don't know quite what to do with it.
President Siebert: We have a fully equipped gymnasium.
Sheldon: Yeah, really? Where's that?
President Siebert: It's part of the new sports complex.
Sheldon: Oh. And where is that?
President Siebert: Come on, I'll show you.
Sheldon: Are there monkey bars?

Sheldon: "Your majesties, members of the Nobel Academy. When I was a young boy growing up in East Texas I always knew I'd wind up on this stage, and everybody who said I wouldn't looks pretty darn foolish right now. I'm talking about you, high school science teacher Mr. Hubert Givens."
Amy: Sheldon, Sheldon. Why are you talking so fast?
Sheldon: I'm trying to get my speech down to 90 minutes.
Amy: Nobody's gonna be able to understand a word you're saying.
Sheldon: Welcome to my life.

Penny: Okay, look, Sheldon's a pain in the ass. But Dr. Fowler's really nice. So if you average them out - math - you got someone who's okay.
Leonard: But more than the person, the Nobel is about the work. You should understand that more than anyone.
Penny: Yes, because of your work on gravitational waves.
Kip Thorne: You know my work?
Penny: I do. But I'm-I'm really hogging this conversation. Leonard?

Bernadette: I can't believe Penny doesn't want to head up my sales team.
Raj: That's too bad. But it's her decision, not yours.
Bernadette: Do you hear how dumb you sound?

Dr. Pemberton: We think that the three physicists should be the ones to win the Nobel Prize for physics.
Sheldon: Wait, so you want to cut Amy out?
Dr. Campbell: No, of course not.
Dr. Pemberton: We don't want to, but we're going to.
Sheldon: But she's my wife.
Dr. Pemberton: Yes, exactly, she's your wife. And she's a neuroscientist. It's like, what's she even doing on this paper? It just raises questions.
Dr. Campbell: Look, Fermilab is going to recommend the three of us to the Nobel Committee. The best chance we have is if your university does the same.
Sheldon: I see. So you really think that I'm the kind of man who would sell out his partner for the chance of winning a Nobel Prize?
Dr. Pemberton: Are you?
Sheldon: Boy, I hope not.

Howard: Why does this matter to you so much?
Bernadette: Because I believe in her, and I make people better. It's what I do.
Raj: Against their will?
Bernadette: It's no fun if they want to. That's just called watching.

Sheldon: There you are.
Dr. Campbell: Dr. Cooper, hello.
Sheldon: Hello to you, too. Now stop trying to steal our Nobel Prize. You come up with your own idea.
Dr. Campbell: Yeah, that's not gonna happen.
Dr. Pemberton: Wouldn't that be something, though?

Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.