Bernadette: What do you think you're doing?
Amy: I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice.
Sheldon: And I don't understand what's going on because I went to MIT.

Anu: I think I'm nice. Are you nice?
Raj: Oh, I'm definitely nice. Every time a girl breaks up with me she always starts with, "You're a nice guy."

Penny: Never? Isn't that usually when you go to the gym?

Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.

Sheldon: Leonard, when are you leaving to pick your mother up from the airport?
Leonard: Uh, well, let's see, her plane gets in at 3:00, figure half hour to get her luggage, so never.

Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.

Howard: I wonder what Tam could have done.
Raj: Hmm. Well, if Sheldon doesn't want to talk about it, it's got to be pretty upsetting.
Howard: I have his brother George's number, he might know.
Leonard: Really? You have George's number?
Raj: So so jealous!

Penny: Well, people came, they ate, they vowed to never speak to each other again. I think it was a successful party.

Leonard: I still can't believe Sheldon had a best friend we've never heard about.
Raj: Ooh, somebody's jealous.
Leonard: I'm not jealous.
Howard: Leonard, this is a safe space. It's okay to be vulnerable.
Leonard: All I'm saying is you know the timing of a fellow's bowel movements, you don't think there's a lot left to discover.

Sheldon: I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways made me a better person.
Amy: Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. How so?
Sheldon: As you were eating that Danish, I wanted to point out that the Danish isn't Danish at all. It was imported by Austrian bakers during a labor dispute in the 1800s. But I chose not to, because I didn't want to be the kind of fella who foists unwanted facts about European pastries on the unwilling.
Amy: Huh. That's actually interesting.
Sheldon: Sorry. Now you'll never know.

Sheldon: Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. That's the beauty of it. Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like. For instance, I understand that there is an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. Perhaps you heart him. Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist Noha Yossry. Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice actress who starred in Sally the Witch.
Raj: Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."?
Sheldon: I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. Draw your own conclusions.

Sheldon: I don't understand. If it's unreasonable, why should we do it?
Howard: Okay, how about this? You know in Star Wars when R2 and Chewbacca were playing holochess?
Amy: Really? Star Wars?
Sheldon: Amy, let the man speak.

Amy: So, we got everybody gifts.
Penny: Aw.
Leonard: Did you forget about us until you were at the airport?
Sheldon: No. We forgot about you until we were on the plane. Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, and I have Amazon Prime.

Amy: Are you really gonna plan a wedding in three months?
Raj: Yeah, well, her family's doing most of the work. They're amazing. We talk all the time.
Sheldon: Why?
Raj: Because we're about to get married and they're gonna be my family.
Sheldon: Amy and I are married, and I never talk to her family.
Penny: Really? My parents love Leonard.
Leonard: Yeah. And my mom loves Penny, which is weird, because I never knew she could love.

Barry Kripke: Greg Pemberton, you old so-and-so.
Dr. Pemberton: Very good to see you. Uh, let me introduce you to my colleague, Dr. Campbell. Uh, Kevin, this is Barry Kripke. We went to college together.
Dr. Campbell: Great to meet you.
Barry Kripke: Well, you have my number. We should hit up the buffet at the strip club while you're in town. Nothing beats a lap dance and a baked potato bar, huh?