Howard: Ma, I'm putting you on speaker-phone with Raj's parents. Can you tell them that you're okay with me going to the Arctic?
Mrs. Wolowitz Arctic? I thought you said Arkansas.

Sheldon: Amazing Spiderman, Ultimate Spiderman, Spectacular Spiderman, the Marvelous Adventures of Spiderman, Spiderman 2099?
Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: You know this can go on all night. Why don't you just come with us?
Penny: Ugh, that's what I was trying to avoid.
Sheldon: Oh, I forgot, Sensational Spiderman.

Raj: I love this time of the year. The leaves are turning, there's a bracing chill in the air.
Howard: Plus there's a whole new crop of female grad students about to put on just enough winter weight to make them needy and vulnerable. That's right, honey, have another calzone. Daddy can wait.

Sheldon: Will you at least stipulate that Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home is inarguably the best?
Raj: I have 3 words for you: Wrath of Khan.

Leonard: Just out of curiosity, did he ever have a shot with you?
Stephanie: Are you insane, the guy was wearing an eyepatch.
Leonard: So, then why did you--
Stephanie: He said I could drive a car on Mars!

Howard: How's the air matress?
Sheldon: It's okay, if you don't mind sleeping on a bouncy castle.

Penny: Sheldon, you are a smart guy, you must know-
Sheldon: Smart? I'd have to lose 60 IQ points to be classified as smart.

Howard:Hey, isn't that the guy who won the MacArthur genius grant last year? (everyone looks) No, not all at once.
Raj: Then how?
Howard: Leonard. Now Raj. Now Sheldon.
Raj: I didn't get a good look. Can I go again?
Howard: No.

Penny: What was he like when he was young?
Beverly Hofstadter: You'll have to be more specific.
Penny: Oh, like five or six.
Beverly Hofstadter: *looks at Penny*
Penny: Five.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh. Well, at that age he was well enmeshed in what Freud would call the phallic stage of pyscho-sexual development. An outmoded theory, of course, but the boy did spend most of his waking hours with a tight grasp on his penis.

Wolowitz: It is I, Sir Howard of Wolowitz.

Leonard: You shush. I'm happy. I want to talk about it.

Howard: It's hot in here, it must be Summer.

Raj: Boy, I bet Ellen Page's friends aren't giving her this kind of crap!

Sheldon: Studies are shown that performing tasks such as eating, talking on a cell phone or drinking coffee while driving reduces ones reaction time by the same factors as ounce of alcohol.

Raj: (Talking about Leslie Winkle) I think she's smoking hot.
Howard: I'd hit that!
Sheldon: You'd hit particulate soil in a colloidal suspension. (Seeing Howard's confusion) Mud.