Penny: (To David) Usually the physicists I know are indoors-y and pale.
Leonard: I'm not indoors-y. I just wear the appropriate sun block because I don't take melanoma lightly.

Barry Kripke: I will, however, give you the opportunity to concede my superiority now and offer my your robot as the spoils of war.

Sheldon: I feel very comfortable around you.
Beverly Hofstadter: I feel very comfortable around you, too.
Sheldon: It's surprising because I generally dont feel comfortable around, well, anyone.
Beverly Hofstadter: Nor I.
Sheldon: What are the odds that two individuals as unique as ourselves would be connected by someone as comparatively workaday as your son?
Beverly Hofstadter: Is that a rhetorical point or would you like to do the math?
Sheldon: I'd like to do the math.
Beverly Hofstadter: I'd like that, too.

Raj: You fail to take into account that even mute, I am foreign and exotic. While you, on the other hand, are frail and pasty.

Penny: Well, I'm sure the new people will be just as quiet.
Sheldon: You can't know that. How can you possibly know that? Penny: You know what? Anyone could rent that apartment now. An opera singer, the cast of Stomp, a tap dancing pirate with a wooden leg.
Leonard: Why are you making it worse?
Penny: I tried making it better, he wouldn't go for it.

Leonard: We all agreed that the third Thursday of every month would be Anything Can Happen Thursday.
Sheldon: Well, apparently the news didn't reach my digestive system, which, when startled, has its own version of Anything Can Happen Thursday.

Raj: What happened with Leslie, why did she dump you?
Howard: I don't know. She just said Howard, momma's a rolling stone. And then her call waiting beeped and she was gone.
Sheldon: I don't understand. If you were in a non-emotional relationship then why are you having what appears be an emotional response?
Leonard: Sheldon, he obviously had feelings for her.
Howard: Of course I had feelings for her, I saw her naked for God's sake!

Leonard: Hey, Stuart, I need to talk to you.
Stuart: Sure, what's up?
Leonard: I think I gave you bad advice about Penny, and I want to apologize.
Stuart: No, your advice was great.
Leonard: It was?
Stuart: Yeah, going slow really worked.
Leonard: You're kidding. Never worked for me.

Sheldon: I'm a theoretical physicist, a career I chose in no small part because it's indoors. But if I'm able to detect slow-moving magnetic monopoles there, I will be the first scientist to confirm string theory. People will write books about me. Third-graders will create macaroni-art dioramas depicting scenes from my life.
Leonard: Sure, maybe a tableau of me trying to pummel you to death.

Sheldon: Maybe if I turn off the nightlight, I can keep the sheets.

Sheldon: (Playing Boggle) Oh, worf. Nice. Too bad that's a proper noun.

Howard: You know, the Pishkin-Wolowitz liquid-waste-disposal system is turning a few heads as well.
Ramona: Again, ew.

Howard: New pants?
Leonard: Yeah, Stephanie got them for me.
Howard: Nice. Cotton?
Leonard: Actually, I think it's more of a wool-fire ant blend.

Leonard: Sheldon, we both agreed to do this.
Sheldon: It's a waste of time. I might as well explain thermodynamics to a bunch of Labradoodles.
Leonard: If you don't do this, I won't take you to the comic book store.

Sheldon: I fashioned historically accurate undergarments out of linen.
Leonard: You went out and bought linen?
Sheldon: Don't be silly, I borrowed one of your pillow cases.
Leonard: Borrowed?