Sheldon: Are you Todd Zarnecki?
Todd Zarnecki: Yeah. Who are you?
Sheldon: I am Sheldor of Azeroth. I want my things back.
Todd Zarnecki: I don't think so. Let me see that.
Sheldon: Careful. That's a collectible.
Todd Zarnecki: I know. I've always wanted one. (Closes door, taking Sheldon's bat'leth)
Sheldon: Well, he's even more cunning than we thought.

Sheldon: You know, the joke's on him. Without the certificate of authenticity, that bat'leth is worthless.
Howard: Yeah, he walked right into our trap.
Raj: Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Leonard: Uh-oh.
Raj: What's the matter?
Leonard: Something's wrong, I'm not getting any gas. Anybody know anything about internal combustion engines?
Sheldon: Of course.
Raj: Very basic.
Howard: 19th-century technology.
Leonard: Does anybody know how to fix an internal combustion engine?
Sheldon: No.
Howard: No, not a clue.

Leonard: Well, we'd better call somebody to come pick us up.
Sheldon: It'd be swell if they had a train.

Sheldon: Thank you, Penny.
Penny: No problem. So, Leonard, I think it's interesting you didn't call your girlfriend to come get you.
Leonard: Uh, I kind of told her I was working.
Penny: So you lied to her. Also interesting.
Leonard: Yeah, she doesn't really understand the whole Warcraft adventure-role-playing thing.
Penny: Well, doesn't matter if she gets it, as long as she's pretty.
Howard: This one's funny, Leonard. How come you couldn't make it work with her?

Dr. Koothrappali: Now, hold on. If she is dating an American, that's not a bad way to go. He's Jewish. Those chaps are very successful, and they don't drink a lot.

Sheldon: A girls night? Oh, I don't know if I'm up for an evening talking rainbows, unicorns and menstrual cramps.

Sheldon: No, thank you. But for the record, I'm an excellent dancer. Proficient in the rumba, waltz and cha-cha.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: I don't see why that's surprising. I excel at so many things. You've had my sourdough bread.

Bernadette: I can't do this any more! I'm a good girl. I went to Catholic school!

Leonard: Hi. Hey, Raj, will you be joining us for dinner?
Raj: The lonely guy and the two happy couples? I'd rather get a prostate exam from a leper who walks away with nine fingers.

Leonard: You're kidding. 3-D?
Bernadette: That's what I hear.
Howard: Then the studio must have real faith in it.

Raj: I need a hug.
Sheldon: Sorry, I have company.
Raj: Come on, Sheldon, open the door.
Sheldon: I don't want to hug you.
Raj: I don't want to hug you, either. I was just feeling blue.
Sheldon: Blue, as in depressed?
Raj: Well, not so much depressed as lonely.
Sheldon: I don't know what color lonely is.

Raj: Sheldon, listen to me. I have a big decision to make, and I'm scared.
Sheldon: Yellow. Go ahead.
Raj: A friend at the School of Pharmacology gave me these new pills they're testing. He says it's the next big thing for social anxiety disorder.
Sheldon: Fascinating. What's in it?
Raj: I'm not sure. Some sort of beta-blocker attached to a molecule extracted from the urine of cows.
Sheldon: I like cows.
Raj: That's not the point.
Sheldon: It was its own point. Go on.
Raj: I'm a scientist. My ability to think is my bread and butter. I'm afraid if I take this, I might lose that special, unique something that makes me so successful in my field.
Sheldon: Rajesh, I've had the privilege of working alongside you for many years. My recommendation is that you gobble these up like Tic Tacs.

Sheldon: Zandor, wizard of the north. Ha! I win!
Howard: If you skip the part about under a two week quarantine because you were exposed to a deadly disease, absolutely.

Doctor: Mr. Wolowitz?
Howard: Is she okay?
Doctor: It wasn't a heart attack. She's awake, she's resting comfortably. We're still running a few tests.
Howard: Can I see her?
Doctor: Actually, she said, and I quote, she'd like to see the little Catholic girl first.
Bernadette: Me? Why me?
Howard: Jews have been asking that for centuries. There's no real good answer.