Mary Cooper: It's called the Born Again Boat Ride. Christian Quarterly gave it their highest rating: five thorny crowns.

Mr. Rostenkowski: It's gonna be okay, son.
Howard: You really think so?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Of course. A pretty girl like Bernadette, she'll find a new guy.

Mr. Rostenkowski: Walnut?
Howard: No, thank you. I'm allergic.
Mr. Rostenkowski: Oh, sure. My partner used to have that. He's dead now.
Howard: From nuts?
Mr. Rostenkowski: Nah, his wife shot him. But she was nuts, so in a way.

Mary Cooper: Lord, Mary Cooper here, coming to you from Gomorrah, California.

Penny: Maybe a little Rodeo Drive.
Mary: Well, I can't spend $12,000 on a handbag. But it's free to look upon those that do with righteous condemnation.

Penny: Wait, what is going on?
Sheldon: In case you have forgotten, Schrodinger's cat is a thought experiment.
Penny: No, no, no, no, I didn't forget. Um, there's this cat in a box and until you open it, it's either dead or alive or both. Although, back in Nebraska, our cat got stuck in my brother's camp trunk, and we did not need to open it to know there was all kinds of dead cat in there.
Amy: Homespun stories, knowledge of physics and a bosom that defies it. You're the whole package, aren't you?

Penny: Oh, good, your power's out, too.
Leonard: Why is that good?
Penny: Because last month, I sent the electric company a Starbucks gift card, an apology note, and a few snapshots of me in a bra.

Amy: I have a sorta kinda boyfriend at home playing with a model train, but you don't hear me bitching about it.

Sheldon: If I could I would, but I can't so I shan't.

Amy: You can't blame yourself. When your pre-frontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of Dopamine. We neurobiologists refer to it as the skank reflex.

Sheldon: "See you in hell Sheldon"? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.

Amy: (Reading Sheldon's relationship agreement) Section 5, Hand Holding: Hand holding is only allowed under the following circumstances: A. either party is in danger of falling of a cliff, precipice or ledge; B. either party is deserving of a hearty hand shake after winning a Nobel prize; C. moral support during flu shots.

Raj: When I moved to America I was pretty lonely, but when I met Howard my life changed because we could be lonely together.

Sheldon: Does anybody have any wood? Oh, come on! I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?

Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten.