Leonard: He made you his screensaver.
Amy: Oh, wow. I had no idea. He is so into me!

Sheldon: I want you to be happy, too. But not enough to do anything about it.

Amy: Come on, he's a retired kids show host.
Sheldon: That's even worse. Using the sweet candy of science to trick children into loving him. ... Pervert.

Sheldon: *Laughs* Very good. Because a gorilla go-go dancer of any sexual preference would be out of place in a film about the Holocaust.
Leonard: It only gets funnier when you explain it, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I know.

Raj: If she isn't going to use it, why are we doing this?
Howard: She'll use it. All I need is to rig it with a fishing pole and a honey-baked ham.

Amy: I'm leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralysing fear in monkies.
Bernadette: If they're anything like humans, the answer is yes.
Amy: You've done this experiment on humans?
Bernadette: You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.

Raj: Oh sure. I sit on the floor for years and no one cares. The pretty white girl's there ten seconds and suddenly we're all running to IKEA.

Raj: Boy, I'm so hungry today. I wonder why.
Howard: Because you had sex the other night?
Raj: You know what, that might be it. By the way, it isn't like riding a bike. I fell off a few times.

Sheldon: I'm not a child. I know the word 'ninny.'

Sheldon: I'm prepared to say I love it, as soon as I confirm there are no hobos aboard.

Stuart: That's right, ladies. For all you know, I'm confident and fun to be around.

Raj: I wish I had a friend like me.

Howard: Hey, she's my wife. If anyone's gonna make her feel gross about sex, it's me.

Penny: Come on, let's just get this over with.
Leonard: "Let's just get this over with?" Am I driving you to the Cheesecake Factory or are we having sex?

Raj: First off, know that we love you and cherish you.
Mike Rostenkowski: Well, I wouldn't go -
Bernadette: Daddy.
Mike Rostenkowski: You're great.