Sheldon: And to think I idolized that man. And why? At the end of the day, he's just another Hollywood phoney.
Amy: Is it really worth getting upset about?
Sheldon: They say don't meet your heroes. Don't peek behind that curtain of fame and celebrity. Because if you do, you'll see them as they really are: degenerate carnival folk.

Raj: What did you put as the one word description of yourself?
Stuart: I put unobjectionable. But now I hear it out loud, it just seems like I'm being cocky.

Raj: What started as a pap smear turned into a date, which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred which continues to this day.

Amy: Did you lie to Howard about tonight?
Bernadette: Of course.
Amy: And you don't like feel guilty about it?
Bernadette: Between Penny's gorilla movie and Howard's gorilla mother, I had no choice.

Leonard: Don't anthropomorphize him. He's got big eyes but his feelings are not like ours.

Amy: Maybe tomorrow morning we put on some hot pants and see if we could score us some free omelettes.

Penny: Hey, you guys ready to order or do you need a few minutes?
Leonard: *mumbles*
Penny: Few minutes it is.

Sheldon: Well now I know how it must have felt being mauled by that sex-crazed gorilla.

Howard: I was just thinking about my mom and how sad my childhood was.
Bernadette: Yeah, I bet it sucked. I'm gonna take a bath and you do the dishes.
Howard: How about I take a bath with you? See what happens?
Bernadette: Here's what's going to happen: I'm going to take a bath, you're gonna do the dishes.
Howard: That's it? No compassion?
Bernadette: "Aww, poor Howie". We good? I'm going to take a bath.

Leonard: All right, here's the deal. Sheldon is gone so the tree decorating rules are out the window.
Penny: Which means we don't have to use his ridiculous ornament spacing template.
Leonard: And I'm happy to report its Kickstarter campaign is holding steady at $0.

Sheldon: Oh stop it. I don't need to take this admiration from the likes of you people.

Penny: Aww, that's great. You're going to be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

Amy: So what am I supposed to do now?
Raj: Prepare your uterus for his gigantic offspring?

Raj: Well, I've always had this fantasy that involves dancing. The sexual chemistry between my partner and me. But boy oh boy, does my father not approve until he sees us in the big dance competition.
Penny: Okay, that's just the plot for "Dirty Dancing".

Raj: Emily, your face is like a precious Dew-kissed flower.
Amy: Wow.
Raj: I know. Powerful stuff, huh?
Amy: No. You're supposed to be yourself. Not all desperate and creepy.
Raj: Okay, I'm getting some mixed messages here.