Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her.
Raj: I told you she exists!

Leonard: That's not helpful.
Sheldon: Well, I'd give more examples, but everyone in your position is so forgettable.

Penny: Now you just get comfortable.
Sheldon: No, no. Comfort is the enemy. You know what's comfortable? Slippers, and blankets, and panda bears. Oh, imagine a panda bear with Richard Feynman's face on it!
Warm up the car, Leonard. It's poster time.

Sheldon: "My good sir. We are neither crackpots, nor wannabes. In fact, we are experts in our fields. And while you hide behind your anonymity, we stand behind our paper. And later tonight, your mother."
Leonard: You don't think that's too rough?
Sheldon: We're just standing behind her. It's not like we're gonna say "Boo!" and scare her.

Sheldon: I knew you'd understand, armadillo Isaac Newton.

Amy: Being left out is a terrible feeling. No one understands that better than I do.
Sheldon: Hey, look at that. Even in your example, you're all by yourself.

Howard: Oh, you're saying I don't do anything around here? Look at my chore chart!

Amy: All these bright people sitting around a table by candlelight. It feels like we could be an eighteenth century French salon.

Leonard: I'll take my chances.
Sheldon: Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in Braille.

Leonard: I'm going to guess that your main concern is the time commitment of watching an entire season of a new show.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not just a season. If I'm in, I'm in for the whole run, even if the quality declines.
Leonard: I get it. Smallville almost wrecked you.
Sheldon: Exactly. You know, I waited ten years to see a guy everyone knows can fly, fly.

Bernadette: It just builds character. Like my dad said, "Nobody likes a cry baby but their moms and Democrats."

LeVar Burton: Thank you, Sheldon, now remember our deal.
Sheldon: You do this, I delete your contact information.
LeVar Burton: While...?
Sheldon: While you watch me do it.

Beverly Hofstadter: I can't help but notice how her unconditional love for you is diametrically opposed to my own parenting strategies.
Sheldon: Well, you doled out affection as a reward for achievement. A proven way to raise a child. Or train a rat.

Sheldon: Leonard, have you ever noticed only my name is on the cable bill?
Leonard: Yeah.
Sheldon: Good, good. And your name is on the electric bill, and mine isn't. And I'm okay with that.
Leonard: Actually, your name is on the electric bill.
Sheldon: Right. This is a disaster.
Leonard: I don't even know what you're talking about and I agree.

Leonard: I was unstoppable. I was on fire. It was like my mind and my body were totally connected, like athletes must feel when they're in the zone.
Penny: Again, it was miniature golf.
Leonard: Admit it, you're a little turned on.
Penny: You can't be this proud.
Leonard: Why not?
Penny: Because I beat you.