Leonard: I'd love it if my dad could come.
Penny: Oh, you have to invite him. I haven't seen him since the divorce.
Leonard: Oh, he's like a different man. He stopped twitching, and I think he grew an inch and a half.

Raj: Okay, and here's the hook. "Thor and Dr. Jones. Thor and Dr. Jones. One plays with lightning. The other plays with bones."

Sheldon: I appreciate your interest in the apartment. I just need to ask you a few standard questions.
Applicant: Sure.
Sheldon: It says here you're a chemist. Which element on the periodic table do you feel is too big for its britches?
Applicant: Is that supposed to be a joke?
Sheldon: Looks like argon's not the only one with an attitude problem.

Leonard: Am I like the dryer sheets of your heart?
Penny: Better. You're the lint trap of my love.

Meemaw: Thank you, Moon Pie.
Amy: Uh, I'm curious. Why do you call Sheldon "Moon Pie?"
Meemaw: 'Cause he's so nummy-nummy.
Leonard and Penny: She could just eat him up.

Penny: You could talk to her, and maybe if it comes up, you could ask if she's heard about the drug.
Leonard: What if I get caught?
Raj: Fear of failure!
Howard: Lack of confidence!
Sheldon: Kind of a wuss!

Sheldon: Which do you think she'll prefer? Because I checked the Sheep and Wool website and there's only 8,000 tickets left.

Amy: What are you doing here? You're not Sheldon.
Stuart: I thought that might come up. Sheldon hired me to go shopping with you.

Leonard: I know what you're doing. You're trying to get attention so we'll feel bad for you, but it's not happening.
Sheldon: No, what I'm doing is trying to figure out how to live my life now that everyone is leaving me.
Leonard: Will you knock it off? We're across the hall.
Sheldon: As the kids are saying today, "talk to the hand."
Penny: They're not saying that.
Sheldon: They are in 2003.
Penny: No, no. They're really not.

Raj: Of course. I'll give you guys some space. Let me just get this out of your way. (Raj fumbles around trying to move the gigantic teddy bear. He knocks over various objects in Howard & Bernadette's living room)
Howard: You need some help?
Raj: No, I got it.
Bernadette: Raj, Raj, wait.
Raj: Please, Bernadette. Let me leave with my dignity. (Raj falls over the teddy bear as he tries to move it out the door)

Sheldon: You look amazing. I mean, this resolution is remarkable.
Amy: (On Skype) I really had to go home for this?
Sheldon: Yes, but it's like you're right here in the room.
Amy: And yet, I'm not.
Sheldon: But I feel like I could reach out and touch you.
Amy: And yet, you can't.
Sheldon: I know.

Sheldon: And I'm sorry I lied about being a wedding planner who can't find love. Although I am currently single, if you know anybody.

Sheldon: Hello, yes, I was hoping you could help me. What song is this? (Hums a tune(
You don't know? Well, how dare you call yourselves a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. My goodness. Do you sing along to the greatest hits of Elvis Presley with that mouth?

Raj: Did you know, at the United Nations, there's a Department for Outer Space Affairs? Howard: Really? Why?
Raj: They exist in case we ever make contact with an alien civilization.
Howard: Mmm, boy, that's one of those jobs that's boring, boring, boring. Then, "Oh, God! Where's the memo with what we do now?!"

Sheldon: I have a question about Batman. Batman is a man who dresses up like a bat. Man-bat is a part man, part bat hybrid. Now, if Man-Bat dressed up as a man to fight crime, would he be Man-Batman?
Leonard: No, he'd be Bat-Man-Bat.
Raj: But wouldn't Man-Batman just be a Batman that was bitten by a radioactive man?
Howard: But Batman is a man. You're talking about a man who would have the powers of a man. That's just Man-Man.
Sheldon: Well, isn't Man-Man just Man?
Leonard: But what if Man-Man dressed as a bat?
Raj: Well, that's just Batman.
Leonard: No, if a man dresses as a bat, that's Batman, but if Man-Man dresses as a bat, that's Batman-Man.
Howard: So does that answer your question?
Sheldon: Oh, I haven't asked it yet.