Stuart: I know what you're going through. My last break-up was pretty tough.
Amy: Oh, what was her name?
Stuart: Hey, it's a true story. I don't need the third degree.

Leonard: Okay, look. Instead of fighting, why don't we dim the lights, get naked and make a baby?

Was trying to lighten the mood. It's not easy. You try it.

Penny: You couldn't sleep either?
Leonard: Of course not.
Sheldon: Me neither. But I just had a tickle in my throat. Not profound marital problems.

Bernadette: You know who would be the perfect roommate?
Sheldon: Gandalf, but he's a smoker.

Bernadette: Come on, Howard, you're overreacting.
Howard: Am I? Am I? What do you want to bet some black ops guy is reprinting my high school yearbook and I'm no longer in it? That chess club picture is now just David Zimmerman and Elaine Cho.

Howard: I'm sorry, you find this funny?
Raj: No, I was just thinking about Jurassic World. Boy, that was terrible.

Raj: My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: I thought you were Puss in Boots.
Raj: Oh, yeah, right. Sorry.
My name is Puss in Boots. You killed my father. Prepare to die.

Raj: What's wrong with Mexico?
Sheldon: Uh, Mariachi bands, wild dogs, beans that jump around because there's a worm inside.

Sheldon: Are we all up to date on our yellow fever inoculations?
Howard: You don't need a yellow fever shot to go to Mexico.
Sheldon: You can never be too careful. I got one last year before I went to Epcot.

Raj: Okay, so it's a, it's a David and Goliath story. It's about man against God. It's called "Hammer and Whip: The Untold Story of Thor vs. Indiana Jones."
Howard: Thor vs. Indiana Jones? You just blew my filking mind.

Barry Kripke: What's going on with Amy?
Sheldon: Not that it's any of your business, but she broke up with me.
Barry Kripke: Really? Good to know.
Sheldon: "Good to know"? What's that supposed to mean?
Leonard: Oh, I hate to say it, but it sounds like he's interested in her.
Sheldon: Well, that's unacceptable.
Leonard: Oh, buddy, I get that you don't like it. But it's not really up to you.
Sheldon: Yeah, but he's dumb, and his face is dumb.

Leonard: I'm the one who thought of "Spockumentary."
Penny: And I'm laughing like I did the first time I heard it.

Adam Nimoy: All right, we're just gonna have a conversation. Pretend the camera's not here.
Sheldon: All right. But this better not be some elaborate scheme to get me out of my shirt.

Penny: Aw. When he says things like that, I just want to hug him and make everything better.
Leonard: My brother was mean to me, too. Yeah, you probably had it coming.

Sheldon: We've gotten a little off-topic. Allow me to make things entertaining again in this little Spockumentary. That was Leonard's joke.