Sheldon: Wow, pouting and running away actually worked. I must say that may not be a lesson you want to reinforce with me.

Bernadette: I like the Wii.
Sheldon: Thanks, Grandma.

Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Sheldon: According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you'll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.

Sheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that's moot now.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: (Entering bathroom) I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency!
Leonard: What kind of an emergency?
Sheldon: Mathematical. 32 ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce bladder.

Leonard: I guess we'll just take [a TV cabinet] up [the stairs] ourselves.
Sheldon: We don't have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper-body strength.
Leonard: We don't need strength. We're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a fulcrum and a lever, and I can move the Earth. (Trying to move the box) It's just a matter of... I don't have this. I don't have this. I don't have it!
Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud.

Wil Wheaton: You ready to bowl?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm ready. I don't know if Stuart told you what you are up against tonight, but before you stands the co-captain of the East Texas Christian Youth Holy Roller Bowling League Championship Team 7-12 year-old division. Also, Penny is pretty good.
Wheaton: Great, then it's on.
Sheldon (to himself): Foolish Wil Wheaton. It was never off.

Sheldon: I'm sorry. There there. Everything's gonna be okay. Sheldon's here.

Penny: I'm a Sagittarius, which probably tells you way more than you need to know.
Sheldon: Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
Penny: Participate in the what?

Amy: Well, you got me something. Here.
Sheldon: Cookies?
Amy: They're your MeeMaw's Christmas cookies. I called and got the recipe.
Sheldon: They're perfect. It tastes like her hugs.
Amy: Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I can't believe this. You're happy. I'm happy. Maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so - Get your hand out of that box!

Sheldon: I'm surprised you struck out with Penny. Apparently she's a big ol' five.

Sheldon: I always thought if I were enslaved, it would be by an advanced species from another planet. Not some hotsie-totsie from Glendale.

Sheldon: I don't know which arctic expedition you guys were on, but I thought it was a hoot and a half.

Ramona: Didn't a great man once say, "Science demands nothing less than the fervent and unconditional dedication of our entire lives."?
Sheldon: He did.
Ramona: And who was that great man?
Sheldon: Me. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Seriously? You're not coming?
Sheldon: You heard her. How can I argue with me?