Sheldon: You know, we did get dressed up and come all the way to City Hall.
Amy: What are you thinking?
Sheldon: I have always wanted a permit to dispose of hazardous waste.
Amy: Let's do it.

Amy: Can you believe it? We're about to walk in that door, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler, and walk out as a married couple, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.

Mrs. Fowler: This is taking too long. I bet that Sheldon stood my baby up.
Penny: Uh, excuse me. Where-where are you going?
Mrs. Fowler: This whole thing was a big mistake. I'm gonna find Amy and get her out of here.
Penny: ­Sit down!
Mrs. Fowler: Excuse me?
Penny: Sheldon loves Amy, and he would never hurt her on her wedding day or any other day, so park it!
*Mary stands up and starts clapping*
Penny: [to Mary] Oh, you sit down, too.
Mrs. Fowler: Are you gonna let her talk to me like that? Say something!
Mr. Fowler: Thank you.

Sheldon: You're a good teacher. Your son is going to be lucky to have you as a father.

Penny: Leonard thinks when we broke up, it didn't bother me.
Zack: That's crazy. When we were going out, she used to talk about you all the time. In fact, I think she only dated me because I reminded her of you.
Leonard: Sure. Because we're both people?
Zack: Damn right we are.

Leonard: Hey, what's going on with your hair?
Raj: Uh, nothing. I just decided to stop straightening it.
Penny: Wait, so you were making your hair look like that on purpose?
Raj: When I first moved to America, I wanted to fit in. And Howard's hair was straight, and he was the coolest person I knew.
Penny: Then you never saw any other people?

Amy: Should we go congratulate him?
Sheldon: I'll do better than that, I'll give him constructive criticism.
Amy: Here's some constructive criticism: don't.

Leonard: Come on. You can build things. You were an astronaut.
Howard: That's true. You know, as a kid, I used to make model rockets. That'd be pretty cool to do with a son.
Sheldon: Model rockets. Finally, something interesting! What is your preferred mode of recovery?
Amy: Sheldon, we're helping our friends.
Sheldon: And we got to model rockets, yeah? It was a tedious road, but well worth the effort.
Amy: So, have you thought of any names?
Sheldon: Amy, we finally got to model rockets. Why are you turning back?

Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Amy: I can't believe we're doing this.
Sheldon: I know. I'm getting married. The new Star Wars movie's coming out. We are really finishing this year strong.
Amy: Okay, but of the two of tho- You know, I'm not even gonna ask. I'm not gonna ask.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends!
Howard: They're not my little friends, and we don't want cookies!
Leonard: Actually, a cookie sounds good.
Howard: All right, we'll have cookies! Thank you very much!

Sheldon: So with this level of high-power laser array, we would actually be able to solve the black hole information paradox once and for all.
President Siebert: That's impressive, and how much funding were you looking for?
Sheldon: $20 million.
President Siebert: Really? You think you can build that for $20 million?
Sheldon: Not a chance.
President Siebert: I'm sorry, then why are you asking me for it?
Sheldon: Because once you've spent $20 million, you're much more likely to give me an additional 50.
President Siebert: So actually, what you're saying is with $70 million, you can build this.
Sheldon: I can see why you'd think that, but no. You can't go to the board of trustees and say you gave Sheldon Cooper $70 million and have nothing to show for it. No, the only way you'd be able to save face is to double down.
President Siebert: So 140?
Sheldon: And then double again.
President Siebert: 280?
Sheldon: And then - good news - not quite double again. So, uh, what do you say? We have a deal?

Mary: Oh, Shelly. I wish your dad could see you now.
Sheldon: Me, too. I miss him.
Mary: He would be so proud of you. I know that I am.
Sheldon: Thank you. I mean, for everything. My whole life.
Mary: Oh. *Mary hugs Sheldon*

Sheldon: I want a real wedding.
Amy: Well, Sheldon, it was just making us fight.
Sheldon: I know. But, Amy, I never thought I'd want to marry anyone. So the fact that I found you is astonishing. It's-it's like finding dark matter, except they're looking for dark matter. I wasn't even looking for you. S-So you're even better than dark matter.
Amy: (chuckles) Sheldon.
Sheldon: Plus, plus, you interact with light, so I can see you. And, also, you don't account for the missing mass in the universe. Oh, and-
Amy: Okay, I think you're getting caught up on the ways I'm not like dark matter.
Sheldon: Right. Sorry.

Amy: What's going on?
Sheldon: What if there was something I wanted to do, but I was worried other people would think less of me?
Amy: Is that other person me, and does it happen in the bedroom, in which case I think I'm cool with it?
Sheldon: No. It's about working with Bert on - You know what? I'm not even gonna say it. I am just gonna say the letter it starts with and -"ology". G-- Oh, no, that's not gonna work.