Raj: Uh, you know, my secret to making great omelets is that I beat the egg whites separately. Speaking of which, how long have you been separated? Speaking of which, how long have you been separated?
Nell: About two weeks.
Raj: That is not a lot of weeks. In fact, that's the bare minimum to get to the plural "weeks".

Georgie: You went away to college after Dad died. Who do you think took care of everything?
Sheldon: Mom did. Mom always took care of everything.
Georgie: Mom was a mess, Missy was a dumb teenager. I had to look after both of 'em.
Sheldon: I talked to Mom all the time. If she was upset, she would have told me.
Georgie: She was protecting you, you idiot, just like everyone always does.
Sheldon: If things were bad, then why didn't you tell me?
Georgie: Because I was protecting you, too. (sighs) You're my baby brother, Sheldon. I know life has been hard for you, but that don't mean it's been easy for the rest of us.

Sheldon: Wow! You look beautiful.
Amy: Really? 'Cause I was gonna return it.
Sheldon: Why would you return it? You look like a pile of swans.

Howard: It's a date. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's not just a date, it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date. Just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Amy: You wanna bet?

Leonard: It's fine, I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon: Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What siren am I?"

Mary Cooper: Lord, thank You. Even though You can do anything, that was mighty impressive.

Sheldon: Wait, oh, and I just I want to let you know right now that we are not getting married in a church.
Mary Cooper: That's all right, Sheldon. Anywhere Jesus is is a church.
Sheldon: Well, he won't be at our wedding.
Mary Cooper: He's in my heart, so if I'm there, he'll be there.
Sheldon: Okay, well, then, he's your plus-one. You don't get to bring anyone else.

Howard: I had a falling out with Raj. He said I make fun of him too much and it's wrecked his confidence.
Stuart: Please, confidence is like red blood cells: it's nice if you got some, but you don't need 'em.

Sheldon: Some things shouldn't be rebooted. Some things were perfect the way they were. Like the walled city of York, it was a delight. But New York? Blech.

Amy: Is that butter?
Sheldon: Yes. But don't blow it all on one biscuit. Took me nine hours to make that. I think I got churner's elbow.

Barry Kripke: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.
Leonard: Well-
Barry Kripke: I messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top!

Sheldon: I've been modeling different types of dark matter and the traces they would leave on the zircon inside your meteorite.
Bert: What's this one here?
Sheldon: That's actually a dark matter model of my own creation. I call it the Cooper Boson.
Bert: Cool. I got to name a rock once. I named it Moderately Sedimented Shale. Guess I kind of pooped the bed on that one.

Sheldon: Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?
Amy: Well, they've already arranged to die in threes. What more do you want from them?

Penny: What if you asked for $20 million?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, I'm trying to do science, not hire Lady Gaga to come to my birthday.
Penny: Do you even know who Lady Gaga is?
Sheldon: Presumably, the wife of Lord Gaga.

Sheldon: I've thought about it, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with Amy. Do I have your blessing?
Stephen Hawking: Well, Sheldon, I think you should make her finger like Saturn and put a ring on it.