Sheldon: Okay. Well, assuming you're right, what would you suggest I do?
Penny: Well, I would start with something small, see if it makes your life any better. Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class.
Sheldon: Oh, you know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. The official footwear of the laid-back fellow.
Penny: Okay, sure.
Sheldon: Of course if my feet are gonna be exposed, I'll need to update my tetanus booster.
Penny: Oh, yeah. Makes sense.
Sheldon: Yeah. And while I'm there, I may as well get a flu shot and a mole check.
Penny: Sure. You know, I've never had a mole check.
Sheldon: Ooh! Well, it's been nice knowing you.

Amy: This is my fiance, Dr. Sheldon Cooper. That's the first time I've said that and it kind of gave me the goose bumps.

Sheldon: So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench where I sat and removed one of my shirts and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. Not a waterproof shoe. That is relevant to the next part of my story, the ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice.
Amy: Apple juice?
Sheldon: Maybe, maybe not. I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.

Leonard: Sheldon, you need to apologize to your brother.
Sheldon: I'm sorry?
Leonard: Yes. Like that, but nicer, and that way.

Amy: Look at what you've done to me!
Penny: Ah, hey. Could you just, like, not touch my computer or like, anything else. I just, ugh, I don't want to look like that in your wedding photos.

Sheldon: No, my mother. Guess who she's insisting we invite to our wedding.
Amy: Jesus?
Sheldon: If only.

Sheldon: My brother.
Amy: Wait a minute. You didn't invite your brother to your own wedding?
Sheldon: He tormented me my whole childhood. I don't think I should reward that type of behavior with a slice of wedding cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
Amy: Try again.
Sheldon: A slice of wedding cake in the shape of a cake.

Sheldon: Once, when I was eight, I was going to dress as my favorite scientist for Halloween, and Georgie threw my costume away. I had to wear a sheet and go as a ghost. Scared myself all night long.

Penny: Hey. Step away from the bride.
Howard: (chuckles) Okay. I'll go back upstairs.
Bernadette: Get in the shower and then take those clothes and burn them.
Penny: Yeah, and all the rest of your clothes! Ah, worth a shot.

Sheldon: What makes you think you can treat me like a child?
Leonard: Your shampoo comes in a Big Bird bottle.
Sheldon: That's because the adult shampoo burns my man eyes.

Penny: Hey, Beverly.
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, hello, Penny.
Penny: Uh, Leonard just left. He's gonna be so upset he missed your call.
Beverly Hofstadter: Why?
Penny: Because he ... Yeah, I don't know.

Raj: So am I gonna be, like, the only single guy at Sheldon's wedding?
Leonard: No. There-There'll be a lot of single people there. Stuart, Amy's great-aunt. Although, Stuart's already friended her on Facebook, so, better move quick.

Leonard: We passed three of these stores on the way here. Why did you say he's just "some loser who sells tires"?
Sheldon: You're right, that was unfair. He's a loser who sells more tires than anyone in Texas.

Georgie: What the hell are you doing here?
Sheldon: Hello, Georgie.
Georgie: It's just George now.
Sheldon: Fine, George. No, I don't like it, Georgie.
Georgie: I see you haven't changed one bit.
Sheldon: Thank you, that is a nice thing to say.

Sheldon: That's not right. That's so unreasonable. Yeah, well, if you're going to be like this, then I don't want to talk to you right now, either. Okay. I love you. Bye.
Amy: Amazon customer support?