Season 2 Quotes Page 3 of 46
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Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!
Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but-
Leonard: Don't tell her.
Sheldon: We're playing Klingon Boggle.
Howard: What do you mean "Aww?" Like she didn't know we were nerds?
Sheldon: Oh, Penny. I know you think you're being generous, but the foundation of gift-giving is reciprocity. You haven't given me a gift, you've given me an obligation.
Howard: Don't feel bad, Penny, it's a classic rookie mistake. My first Hanukkah with Sheldon, he yelled at me for eight nights.
Penny: Now, honey, it's okay. You don't have to get me anything in return.
Sheldon: Of course I do. The essence of the custom is that I now have to go out and purchase for you a gift of commensurate value and representing the same perceived level of friendship as that represented by the gift you've given me. It's no wonder suicide rates skyrocket this time of year.
Penny: Okay, you know what? Forget it. I'm not giving you a present.
Sheldon: No, it's too late. I see it. That elf sticker says to Sheldon. The die has been cast, the moving finger has writ, Hannibal has crossed the Alps.
Sheldon: Is my hamburger medium-well?
Sheldon: Dill slices not sweet?
Sheldon: Individual relish packets?
Sheldon: Onion rings?
Leonard: I asked.
Sheldon: What did they say?
Sheldon: Did you protest?
Sheldon: Well then what took you so long?
Penny: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Sheldon.
Howard: I bet we could sell that sign all over Pasadena!
Sheldon: I still don't see why I need a driver's license. Albert Einstein never had a driver's license.
Howard: Yeah, but Albert Einstein didn't make me wet myself at 40 miles an hour.
Penny: Yeah, and I never wanted to kick Albert Einstein in the nuts.
Beverly Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?
Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.
Stephanie: I don't see anything at all, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, you're the doctor, but I am constantly hearing this annoying sound.
Leonard: Me too.
Sheldon: Is it a high frequency whistle?
Leonard: No, it's more of a relentless, narcissistic drone.
Sheldon: Thanks for letting me stay here.
Penny: Oh, you're welcome sweetie.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm sleepy now get out.
Sheldon: She calls me moon-pie because I'm nummy-nummy and she could just eat me up.
Sheldon: I would ask you to find some way to suppress your libido.
Penny: I could think about you.
Sheldon: Whatever works.
Howard: Okay make your little jokes, but out of the four of us, I'm the only one who's making real world contribution to science and technology.
Rajesh: He's right, this is an important achievement for two reasons. Number one and of course number two!
Sheldon: What exactly does that expression mean, 'friends with benefits?' Does he provide her with health insurance?
Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?