Sheldon: If this is about the night the heat went out, there's nothing to be embarassed about.
Raj: It's not about that.
Howard: We agreed to never speak of it again.
Sheldon: So we slept together naked. It was only to keep our core body temperatures from plummeting.
Howard: He's speaking about it.
Raj: For me it was a bonding moment.

Sheldon: Good night. And if there's an apocalypse, good luck.

Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Sheldon: (Dictating) Research Journal, Entry One. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career: teaching Penny physics.! I'm calling it "Project Gorilla".

Penny: Do or do not do there is no try.
Leonard: Did you just quote Star Wars?
Penny: I believe I quoted The Empire Strikes Back.

Penny: Did he somehow just give me the finger?
Howard: Not just the finger, the moving finger!

Penny: Why are you back from your date so early?
Howard: Well, in romance, as in show business, always leave them wanting more.
Penny: What exactly does that mean?
Leonard: He struck out.

Sheldon: Captain Hook's hand was eaten by a crocodile, not an alligator. If you're going to insult me at least get your facts straight.

Sheldon: Oh, Ubuntu. You're my favorite Linux-based operating system.

Howard: So nice you could join me this evening, you're looking lovely as always.
Katee Sackhoff: Thanks Howard, always nice to be part of your masturbatory fantasies.

Zack: Hey, I want to see this laser thing.
Penny: Oh, but what about the party?
Zack: It's a surprise party, doesn't matter when we get there.

Sheldon: *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj. *Knock Knock Knock* Raj.
*Raj answers the door*
Raj: I'm busy.
Sheldon: Doing what? *Raj does his finger trick again* Okay, you've made your point.

Wil Wheaton: That's right, Sheldon. Embrace the dark side.

Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace, this is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and one half of the Golden Treasure for two - oh, for heaven's sake! In the mid-18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.

Sheldon: Well then, as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon.