Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.

Sheldon: I'm sorry, but in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?

Sheldon: There are a lot more rich old ladies out there and Daddy needs a new linear accelerator.

Amy: Well then, prepare to be terrified. If your friends are unconvincing, this year's donations might go to, say, the Geology department.
Sheldon: Oh no. Not the dirt people!
Amy: Or, worse still, it could go to the liberal arts.
Sheldon: No!
Amy: Millions of dollars being showered on poets, literary theorists and students of gender studies.
Sheldon: Oh, the humanities!

Howard: Aah, this takes me back. Leonard obsessing about Penny. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love your new stuff but, once in a while, it's nice to hear the hits.
Raj: Ooh, ooh, do "our babies will be smart and beautiful." That one always makes me laugh.

Leonard: Top of her class, Cambridge University. Licensed to practice law in three countries. And your face.

Amy: So, you feeling better?
Penny: Not really.
Amy: Sheldon, you have a guest who's upset.
Sheldon: I'll make tea.
Penny: Sweetie, it's OK. I don't want tea.
Sheldon: It's not optional.

Leonard: Cause of death for Uncle Carl was KBB? What's KBB?
Sheldon: Killed by badger.
Leonard: How's that?
Sheldon: It was Thanksgiving. Uncle Carl said, "I think there's a badger living in our chimney. Hand me that flashlight." Those were the last words he ever spoke to us.

Sheldon: You seem to have forgotten the reason we live together is that we're best friends. And I've got your back, Jack.

Leonard: Well you don't have to worry, we broke up again.
*Sheldon gives awkward look and then throws his papers in the air with one of them landing next to his head.
Sheldon: Do you ever think about other people, Leonard? Do you?

Penny: Oh, my God, you’re about to jibber jabber about jibber jabber.

Sheldon: Good grief. It's like talking to a dolphin.

*Sheldon spots Amy Farrah Fowler outside the apartment*
Sheldon: Oh dear... they really do be crazy.

Koothrappali: Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a near-sighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Koothrappali: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Koothrappali: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Penny: Well, my question is, and I'm pretty sure I know the answer, is this your first date?
Sheldon: That depends. Does square-dancing with my sister at a Teens for Jesus 4th of July Hoe-down count as a date?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: Then, this is my first date.