Penny: Okay. So, the usual, with extra spit on Sheldon's hamburger.

Penny: Okay, you know what? Let's just try a different improv. Uh, oh, this time we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass.
Sheldon: Oh, and we're going to use props?
Penny: You bet. I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous. Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now look at me. Want some?
Sheldon: You have any frozen yogurt?

Sheldon: I'm so proud of you! You sold yourself out like a common streetwalker!
Leonard: No, I didn't do it for the money.
Sheldon: She stiffed you?
Penny: I believe that's what your roommate did to her.
Sheldon: What?
Penny: Again, read the book we gave you.

Penny: I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. I don't want to impose.
Sheldon: No, no. It's not an imposition. At this point, in our ecosystem, you are akin to the plover, a small scavenging bird that eats extra food from between the teeth of crocodiles. Please, fly into our open maw and have at it.

Bernadette: Wait a second. I'm doing your laundry?
Howard: Well, honey, it's not gonna do itself. Oh, before I forget. Tomorrow morning, you're driving me to the dentist.
Bernadette: I have to take you?
Howard: You don't have to take me. You get to take me.
Bernadette: Wait a minute. Are you telling me your mother usually takes you to the dentist?
Howard: It's not weird. There's lots of kids there with their moms.

Barry Kripke: Go ahead, Zach. Naked drunk girl, free balling. Continue.

Leonard: Last night, me wanting to try that stuff out of the Kama Sutra, was that fun for you or kinda racially insensitive?
Priya: Yeah, just because you're in bed with an Indian woman, you think that gives you permission to use crazy positions from an ancient Indian love manual?
Leonard: Hey, if you can find a book called Weird Sex with White Boys, I'd be okay with that.

Priya: You have such beautiful eyes. Have you ever thought about getting contacts?
Leonard: I tried in the seventh grade. I could never get used to them.
Priya: Oh, that's too bad.
Leonard: Yeah, if I had contacts I would have been the coolest debate club president ever to be stuffed into his own cello case.

Penny: Hey, look at Leonard in his fancy-ass grownup clothes. Way to go, Priya. For once, he doesn't look like a mannequin in the boys' department.

Bernadette: Okay, well, wish me luck.
Howard: Dont worry, you'll be fine. Let's just hide Mr. Cross. If it touches her, it burns.

Penny: Can I tell you a secret?
Raj: Yeah.
Penny: I screwed up. Leonard's a great guy. Never should have broken up with him.

Raj: It doesn't matter. They'll find a way to give me a one-way ticket back to Ghandiville. And by the way, when I say that it's not offensive.

Sheldon:(typing) Hit troll with axe! Hit troll with axe! Hit troll with axe! Oh, my, this is one tough troll.

Penny: Isn't tomorrow your usual laundry night?
Sheldon: The supermarket was out of my regular fabric softener. If this one under or over-softens, I'll need time to make things right.
Penny: That's thinking ahead.
Sheldon: The alternative would be to think backwards. And that's just remembering.

Sheldon: We had a good run, you and I.