Sheldon: Whenever you're ready, AT&T!

Sheldon: There's a lot of harm in trying something new. That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.

Leonard: It's color-coded. Red means "fix right away". Yellow is "eh, whenever you get a chance." And green is "I could probably learn to live with it."

Howard: It's the twenty first century, you can't have a duel.
Leonard: Hang on, Howard. Barry, how good of a shot are you?

Amy: So I guess you have to have hollow bones to get some sugar around here.

Leonard: Are you drinking whiskey?
Sheldon: Indeed. If I'm to participate in the social convention that is the "stag night," then I must embrace all its components, including tobacco, swear words and, yes, alcohol. Jeepers, that's yucky!

Raj: I can't believe I bought my soul mate at Glendale Galleria.

Leonard: You're a woman, and I'm going to make you feel things you have never felt before. That's right, say my name, and beg me for more because I'm going to give it to you.

Leonard: So, I've got a gunshot wound. That's pretty bad-ass.
Penny: No, you've got a Reebok with a gunshot wound and an ouchie on your pinky toe.

Spock Doll: Very well, I'll just use the Transporter. Oh, that's right. You broke it!

Mrs. Wolowitz Hey, if she's willing to give the milk away for free, who am I to say no?

Leonard: Well, they say at the end of your life, you regret the stuff you didn't do more than the stuff that you did. And, I'm pretty sure Alice is the stuff I want to do.

Penny: What's the gist, physicist?

Penny: Did you tell her her about your favorite asthma inhaler?

Howard: It's amazing people keep coming to comic book stores instead of just downloading comics digitally.
Leonard: It's probably for the best. For a lot of these guys, the weekly trip here is the only chance their mom has to go down to the basement to change their sheets.
Howard: Oh, that reminds me, I get fresh sheets tonight. Yay!