Penny: How can you not be happy? You're tall, thin and famous. ... Oh my God, I'm jealous of Sheldon.

Penny: Do you ever imagine what that would be would be like, not being born?
Leonard: *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think? *Sheldon's knock* What do you think?

Amy: I love Little House. It made me want to live on a farm so much I tried to milk my cat. That tangy bowl of Cheerios was not worth the stitches.

Sheldon: Where's my lemonade?
Penny: I didn't get it.
Sheldon: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress to forget my order one last time.

Sheldon: That's right. I'm in a boy-girl relationship with this cute little lump of wool.

Sheldon: It's a physical relationship, too. With hand-holding, hugging - even on hot days! ... Oww! Here's a new one, apparently we kick each other on the shins under the table.

Penny: We're engaged!
Raj: Wow. I thought me having sex with Emily was going to be the big news.
*Amy, Bernadette, Howard and Sheldon rush to Raj*
Leonard: Hey, hey. What the hell?!
Bernadette: You guys propose all the time, this never happens.
Penny: You're right. Yay!
*Leonard & Penny go to celebrate with Raj*

Sheldon: I've seen things. Lady things.
Amy: Listen to me. That is not the way they usually look!

Mike: I don't know what's scarier: the bathroom clowns or the woman that put them there?
Sheldon: All I know is you can only fit one of her in a car.
*Howard walks in*
Sheldon: And there's the clown that came out of her!

Amy: *Signs Amy Farrah Fowler on the iPad* Why yes, I would like to take a survey.

Penny: I finally realize I don't need to be famous or have some big career to be happy.
Leonard: Well what do you need?
Penny: You, you stupid Poptart.

Penny: What are you working on?
Sheldon: Can't talk. In the zone.
Penny: (To Amy) Do you know what he's doing?
Amy: Could be anything. Last time he was like this he figured out electron transport in graphene. The time before that he was making a list of who's allowed in his tree fort if he ever gets one. Still can't believe I didn't make the cut.

Bernadette: Oh my God! You did not just slow down for a bird! You know they fly, right?

Bernadette: I accidentally destroyed one of Howard's comic books this morning and I was hoping I could replace it.
Stuart: What happened?
Bernadette: Batman got his ass kicked by my curling iron.
Stuart: Don't let the Riddler know that. It's a comic book joke.
*Bernadette stares blankly*
Stuart: Or maybe it's not.

Sheldon: My friend Leonard said if I bothered you while you were eating, you'd think I was a creepy stalker.
James Earl Jones: Well, your friend Leonard sounds like a real weeny.
Sheldon: He is, Mr. Earl Jones. He is!