Howard: I already found a guy online who is willing to sell.
Sheldon: How do you know this isn't a sting operation set up by the Comic-Con police?
Leonard: The same way I know the people in the TV set can't see me.

Beverly Hofstadter: Let me save you all of your hemming and hawing. Sheldon already told me that you and Penny are engaged.
Leonard: I hate that you talk to him more than you talk to me.
Beverly Hofstadter: Would you like for me and you to talk more?
Leonard: You know, it's probably fine.

Penny: Look, I'm telling you I've done it. I clearly remember the cow standing up and then a cow on its side.
Leonard: Were you drunk?
Penny: I was sixteen and in Nebraska, what do you think?
Leonard: I think you're the one who fell over.
Penny: Well that would explain why the sky was also on its side.

Sheldon: My point is you're going to need to be careful. You used to be protected by your pre-enlightenment mythology. But now you're going to need a stronger friend, named latex.
Mary: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
Sheldon: No, don't look to him. He's mad at you right now.

Howard: Is that book called "Lies I tell to get sex"?
Raj: Is that a real book? I would totally read that book.
Amy: Can I borrow it when you're done?

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

Leonard: Thank you for all your help.
Penny: Sorry if you didn't think we were taking it seriously. We love animals.
Yvette: Oh, do you guys own any pets?
Penny: No.
Yvette: Good.

Ira Flatow: Some people in the science community are calling it the wonder blunder.
Sheldon: Who? Give my their names! I bet it's Wolowitz.

Raj: At least Leonard, Howard and I would have always been friends.
Bernadette: Hey, how come you three never got an apartment together?
Leonard: We talked about it, but Howard was in a pretty serious relationship ... with his mom.

Howard: You know if you'd rather skip lunch and hang out with your boyfriend, Bert. It's totally okay.
Amy: He's not my boyfriend.
Raj: Are you sure? He's tall, pale and awkward. That sounds like your type.

Sheldon: With the Xbox One I can control my entire entertainment system with voice commands. Up until now I've had to use Leonard.

Bernadette: I guess we're going to have to do all the cooking.
Howard: I have a better idea.
Bernadette: If you think you're going to get to me do all this by yourself, you're crazy.
Howard: I was going to get Raj to do it all by himself.
Bernadette: Oh, well that's a great idea.

Penny: Look, Zack. Come on. You know neither of us thought this was real. I mean we were married by an Elvis impersonator.
Zack: Of course it was an impersonator. We could never afford a real Elvis.

*As Stuart moves a box, a piece of the ceiling falls down*
Stuart: That could have killed me. ... Can't catch a break.

Leonard: How did she get you to do yoga?
Sheldon: Well, to be honest I thought she said Yoda.