Penny: Just you wait and see. I'm gonna romance your freakin' ass off.
Leonard: That's beautiful. Is that Shakespeare?

Jesse: You're back.
Bernadette: *Angry voice* Yes, I am. There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine. And he's a much nicer person than you are. And if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better!

Bernadette: I'm glad I got that mocha. And you know what else I'm glad about? I bought you a brownie and I ate it in the car!

Sheldon: The conductor said if I come back to the engine room, he'd show me how to take the train through a crossing.
Amy: Okay. Have fun.
Sheldon: Do you want to come with me?
Amy: Really? I do!

Penny: I just got a part on a TV show.
Amy: Congratulations!
Leonard: That's great. Guys ...
The guys: Yeah ...
Amy: What's the show?
Penny: NC - I I? or, you know, NC - S T D. I don't know. It's the one with all the letters.

Arthur: Is this the first time you've lost someone close to you?
Sheldon: Oh, no. I've already had to say goodbye to eleven Doctor Whos.
Arthur: Yeah, I've outlived a few of my doctors, too.

Leonard: People get things they don't deserve all the time. Like me with you.

Bernadette: Sorry, I'm late. The leaf blower broke so I had to hand dry my mother-in-law.

Penny: Howard, cow tipping - real or not?
Howard: I'm going to say not. That's just based on me trying to roll my mom over when she's snoring.

Howard: I've never done this before, it's kinda fun.
Raj: Yeah, if your mom could see her little Bar Mitzvah boy, she'd have a heart attack.
Bernadette: Good idea. I'll take a picture.

Bernadette: I got into science because I was always the smallest kid in the school. I thought if I became a scientist I could invent a formula that made me taller.
Amy: That's cute.
Bernadette: I thought it was working for a while, but then I found out my brother was just lowering the pencil marks on the door frame.

Amy: It would be nice to be with a man who wants to know what's underneath my cardigan. FYI, it's another cardigan.

Sheldon: I've got to find a way to stop this thing.
Leonard: Buddy, I don't think you can. Once it's out there, it's out there. This thing is like the science equivalent of a sex tape.
Sheldon: Frankly, I'd prefer a sex tape.
Leonard: You don't know what a sex tape is, do you?
Sheldon: No.

Sheldon: Careful, Amy. The friend of the enemy's girlfriend is my enemy.
Amy: Really?
Sheldon: You're either with me or against me.
Amy: You wanna take the bus to work?
Sheldon: Maybe there's a third option.

Raj: In the last hour 162 people have read our profiles. How many of them have sent us messages?
Stuart: Combined?
Raj: Yes.
Stuart: Zero.