Sheldon: Well, wait. What if, just this once, we suspend the date night parameters and you stay later?
Amy: Well, as long as we're suspending the parameters. I could stay really late and we could have our first sleepover.
Sheldon: That's a big step.
Amy: It's a big fort.

Sheldon: I like it. I think you're on to something.
Leonard: Really? You're not messing with me?
Sheldon: Not at all. In fact, I have got something for just such an occasion. I was starting to think I'd never get a chance to give it to you. Good job!
Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That's a sticker of a kitty saying "Mee-wow".
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back.
Leonard: I earned this. Back off.

Leonard: Not once did my mother ever give me any love or affection for just being myself. I always had to earn it.
Mary Cooper: Oh, Leonard, I'm sure she loves you very much. In her own cold godless way.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay, were you talking before she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.

Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.

Leonard: The place really looks great.
Raj: Yeah, you should have burnt it down years ago.
Stuart: I keep telling you, I didn't burn it down.
Leonard: We know. We know. Because burning something down for the insurance money is a crime. *wink*

Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?

Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.

Raj: Yeah, Mrs. Wolowitz was pretty special. When I first moved to America, Howard was my only friend, and she made me feel so welcome in her home. Which says a lot, because those first few years she thought I was the gardener.

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: If you didn't press record-
Amy: I pressed it!

Bernadette: (In pageant video) And you should pick me for Miss. California Quiznos 1999, because I want to tell you what I want, what I really really want. I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna, really, really, be the California Quiznos 1999.

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

Howard: Don't feel bad. Some day someone will be throwing out your work, too.
Leonard: That someone was Sheldon and the day was yesterday.

Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.