Season 9 Quotes Page 3 of 73

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Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Professor Proton: Why isn't it ever Angie Dickinson's bedroom?

Quote from Amy in the episode The Empathy Optimization

Amy: Hi, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello.
Amy: Are you feeling any better?
Sheldon: Physically, yes, but I'm upset because everyone's mad at me for no good reason.
Amy: Why don't you tell me what happened, and in a gentle, loving way, I'll explain to you why you're wrong.

Quote from Howard in the episode The Mystery Date Observation

Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.

Quote from Raj in the episode The 2003 Approximation

Howard: You know what's really happening here? Your girlfriend is breaking up our band.
Raj: She has nothing to do with this. I am my own man.
Howard: Oh, please. Your brain belongs to whoever's willing to sleep with you.
Raj: That is so not true.
Howard: Really? Remember when you were gonna get circumcised for Rachel Bernstein?
Raj: That had nothing to do with Rachel. It was an overreaction to a bad zipper injury.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Earworm Reverberation

Sheldon: I know why the song was in my head.
Penny: Why?
Sheldon: It's about Amy.
Penny: Okay, look, I know Amy's like an old lady, but she's not old enough to have a song from the '60s written about her.

Quote from Amy in the episode The Bachelor Party Corrosion

Amy: Uh, well, actually, to be honest I haven't told her yet.
Penny: You've been giving me a hard time and you haven't even told your mom about Sheldon?
Amy: I'm feeling a little dizzy from all the blood loss. I don't know what you're talking about.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Helium Insufficiency

Leonard: What are we going to do?
Sheldon: Perform the experiment immediately.
Leonard: I'd love to, but we need liquid helium and our shipment's on back order for a month.
Sheldon: A month? What? Are you kidding me? That would have been a good time for you to soften the blow.
Leonard: That shirt brings out the blue in your eyes.
Sheldon: Thank you. Aren't you sweet?

Quote from Bernadette in the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Bernadette: Aww, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah. I mean, not like our wedding beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Amy: Sheldon, what's wrong?
Sheldon: I wanted to let you know I'll be spending your birthday with you.
Amy: Okay.
Sheldon: See, I had tickets to the Star Wars premiere that night, but Professor Proton came to me in a dream, dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi, and convinced me that I should be with you.
Amy: Obi-what?
Sheldon: I'll let you get back to sleep now. Good night.
Amy: Good night. Uh, Sheldon, were you actually not going to spend my birthday with me?
Sheldon: (feigning sleepiness) It's late, gotta go, bye.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Matrimonial Momentum

Leonard: I can't believe I'm spending my wedding night with you.
Sheldon: Really? I never imagined it any other way.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Platonic Permutation

Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Separation Oscillation

Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.

Quote from Penny in the episode The Perspiration Implementation

Bernadette: Stuart took that rejection like a pro.
Penny: Well, he knew he was on the breast cam.
Amy: I don't have much practice turning men down. It wasn't so much fun.
Bernadette: Oh, you get used to it. Some guys you have to turn down over and over.
Penny: And sometimes we marry them anyway.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Opening Night Excitation

Sheldon: Well, this is different. Candles and music.
Amy: Do you like it?
Sheldon: It's kind of spooky.
Amy: I can change it back.
Sheldon: No, it's your birthday. As long as no one jumps out in a hockey mask, I'll be fine.

Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Positive Negative Reaction

Raj: Look at that. You've known you're gonna be a father for less than a day and you're already stepping up.
Leonard: I'm telling you, you got this.
Howard: Maybe you're right.
Sheldon: Of course he's right. You and I both know how hard it is growing up without a father. That's why I'm confident you're gonna be the best dad you can be.
Howard: Thank you, Sheldon.
Sheldon: You're welcome. And if he has twins, we can do all kinds of neat experiments on them.

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