Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob!

Zack: Anyway, after we get done snowboarding, I go to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi. There's no one around, so naturally I'm free-balling it. Next thing I know, this beautiful chick shows up. Drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me.
Sheldon: Question: was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
Kripke: Really, that's your question?
Zack:What's the difference?

Sheldon: Doesn't anyone wanna know where he's going?
Penny: Okay, where is he going?
Sheldon: Leonard is going to the office.

Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.

Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.

Sheldon: Oh no, they sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!

Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.

Kripke: My work would suffer too if I was getting laid all the time.
Sheldon: Yes, that is the reason. My work is suffering because of all the laid I am getting.
Kripke: You lucky bastard.
Sheldon: What can I say, you know? She enjoys my genitals. I am giving them to her on a nightly basis.

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Sheldon: I'm sorry, are we really doing this? Or are we tricking him again like with the dinner party?

Penny: How come you've never done anything romantic to celebrate our first date?
Leonard: For starters, you've broken up with me so many times, which first date are we talking about?
Sheldon: Oh, somebody call the burn ward. ... And back to the zone.

Sheldon: I don't need to sit here and take this, Flatow. It's because of bullies like you that everyday more and more Americans are making the switch to television.

Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I was actually talking about when I was a kid on Star Trek.
Sheldon: How could you not like getting attention for playing Wesley Crusher? You were wonderful. A know-it all boy genius with an eidetic memory. Who couldn't relate to that?

Sheldon: What's that animal doing in our apartment?
Leonard: She's in her crate, she can't get out.
Sheldon: I have two words for you: Jurassic Park.