Amy: You're like a sexy toddler.
Sheldon: I don't know how to process that.

Raj: Last night I had a dream we got so rich from the app, you and I bought matching side by side mansions, but there was a secret tunnel connecting your front yard to my back yard. What do you think that means?

Sheldon: I decided to take your advice and have arranged to go on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler.
Penny: Oh, that's great. Have fun.
Sheldon: Wait, you have to drive me.
Penny: What?
Sheldon: You know I don't drive.
Penny: Well, go ask Leonard.
Sheldon: I did; he said, and I quote: "Ask Penny, it was her cockamamie idea."
Penny: Leonard said "cockamamie"?
Sheldon: Actually, I'm paraphrasing. Having been raised in a Christian household, I'm uncomfortable with the language he used. And to be honest, I'm not entirely comfortable with "cockamamie".

Sheldon: As usual, you're all wrong. The bravest person in the Marvel universe is the doctor that gives Wolverine his prostate exam.
Howard: How about the guy gets a prostate exam from Wolverine?

Howard's mom: Howard, I made cookies for you and your little friends.
Howard: That's great, mom. Thanks.
Howard's mom: I'll bring them up with some Hawaiian Punch.
Howard: *startled* Don't come up here!
Howard's mom: Why not? Are you ashamed of your mother?
Howard: Yes, but that's not the point. Get me out of here!
Leonard: Do you have any ideas, Raj?
Raj: Right now all I can think about is cookies and Hawaiian Punch.

Leonard: Okay, uh, how do I put this? Um, are you familiar with Darwin's observation of the finches in the Galapagos Islands?
Penny: Did they make a movie about it?
Leonard: No.
Penny: Then no.

Leonard: Hey, I thought you were with your new buddies.
Sheldon: I had to leave. They were having fun wrong.

Raj: I haven't cried this hard since Toy Story 3.

Leonard: I had a great idea. Do you know how we're always having to stop and solve differential equations, like when you're doing Fourier equations or using the Schroedinger equation?
Sheldon: Howard doesn't, he's only an engineer.

Leonard: Twelve years after high school and I'm still at the nerd table.

Sheldon: Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.

Raj: I can't believe you kissed my sister with moth mouth.
Leonard: Well, I can't believe you'd use Sheldon's toothbrush.
Sheldon: You used my toothbrush?
Raj: Not the brush part. Just the little rubber thing to pick food from my teeth and massage my gums.

Sheldon: Leonard, are you in the shower?
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: I asked if you were in the shower, but that's moot now.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Moot. Rendered unimportant by recent events.
Leonard: I can't hear you, I'm in the shower.
Sheldon: (Entering bathroom) I have to skip the chitchat. Emergency!
Leonard: What kind of an emergency?
Sheldon: Mathematical. 32 ounce banana smoothie, 16 ounce bladder.

Leonard: Sorry.
Amy: So, are you off to dinner with Priya, Howard and Bernadette?
Leonard: Yeah. How did you know?
Amy: I heard it at the mall, when I was shopping with my girlfriends, 'cause, you know, that's kind of my life now. Have a good night. Try not to ogle my caboose as I walk away.

Leonard: Hi. I'm Leonard. You are beautiful. You pop, sparkle and buzz e-lec-tric. I'm going to pick you up at eight, show you a night you will nev-er for-get.