Sheldon: Oh Amy, I've never been touched like this before.

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community-college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.

Leonard: I'm going to pick you up at 8. I'm going to show you a night that you will never forget.
Raj: (Excitedly) Where are we going?

Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".

Sheldon: We could also stop using the letter M. But I think that idea is isguided and oronic.

Penny: The Flash shirt is what? Because you're gonna run really fast?
Sheldon: No, the Flash shirt is because it's Friday. But it's nice when things work out.

Sheldon: Oh, Penny. Penny.
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

Amy: I was proposing massaging your muscles with your own hands.
Sheldon: Still sounds like a lot of unnecessary touching.

Howard: (Repeating what Raj says) You're right, Penny jogs. Maybe you guys can run together.
Sheldon: That's an excellent idea. Yeah, if we chat, it will create the illusion of time going faster.
Penny: No, it won't.

Sheldon: What an elf I would've made.

Sheldon: Good Lord how you frustrate me Leonard Hofstadter!

Sheldon: I find zombies dancing in choreographed synchronicity implausible. And also it's really scary.

Howard: No, we can still make this work. Leonard, you talk to Penny.
Leonard: What makes you think I can convince her?
Howard: You got her to have sex with you. Obviously, your superpower is brainwashing.
Leonard: Okay, let me see if I understand this. You want me to convince my ex-girlfriend to go to a costume party with her new boyfriend just so we can win a stupid prize?
Sheldon: Yes. And make her wear the black wig. Good luck.

Sheldon: Forgive me, but I think you'll find my story is more interesting.
Barry Kripke: Does your story have wet breasts in it?

Cop: Your friend called 911 to report a robbery.
Leonard: Oh, my God, what did they get?
Sheldon: What didn't they get? They got my enchanted weapons, my Vicious Gladiator armor, my Wand of Untaimed Power and all my gold.