Sheldon: Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

Sheldon: The Hindu Code of Manu is very clear in these matters. If a woman's father is not around, the duty of controlling her base desires falls to the closest male member of her family. In this case, Raj. The code also states that if she disobeys, she will be reborn in the womb of a jackal and tormented by diseases. If true, that seems like an awfully large gamble given that the prize is Leonard.

Amy: Yo, P-dawg!

Levar Burton: *Walks through the apartment door and stares in horror at the Kripke, Zach and Stuart singing*
Hello I c... Oh no, uh huh. *Slams door shut* I am so done with Twitter.

Sheldon: Is your womb available for rental?

Sheldon: I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.

Zack: You want to go with em?
Penny: No.
Zack: Okay, see you later.
Penny: Wait, w-w-wait-wait-wait, youre ditching me to go look at comic books?
Zack: Are you mad at me?
Penny: Im not happy.
Zack: Milk Dud?

Leonard: What are you doing here?
Raj: I was sleeping.
Leonard: In my bed?
Raj: Well, I would have slept in my own bed, but it was being used to bring shame to my family and the memory of Gene Roddenberry.

Penny: All right, time to open bachelor number two.

Wolowitz: Okay, the good news is, we have a Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Oh.
Koothrappali: Yes.
Sheldon: What's the bad news?
Wolowitz: Superman probably isn't getting laid tonight.
Zack: Aw, damn.

Raj: Water Demon.
Howard: Ice Dragon.
Leonard: Lesser Warlord of Kaa.
Sheldon: Not so fast. Infinite Sheldon.
Leonard: Infinite Sheldon?
Sheldon: Yes, Infinite Sheldon defeats all other cards and does not violate the rule against homemade cards because I made it at work.
Leonard: Do you understand why people dont want to play with you?
Sheldon: No, although its a question Ive been pondering since preschool.

Leonard:You called the police because someone hacked your "World of Warcraft" account?
Sheldon:What choice did I have? The mighty Sheldor, level 85 blood elf, hero of the Eastern Kingdoms, has been picked clean like a carcass is the desert sun. Plus the FBI hung up on me.

Howard: Why did you bring that?
Sheldon: No weapon strikes more fear into a man's heart than a Klingon bat'leth.

<>strong>Priya: *Recalling Raj's poetry* Oh Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Howard: I did a stupid thing.
Leonard: Yeah, I guessed that.
Howard: It was the kind of thing that makes it kind of hard to face her now.
Leonard: That covers anything from farting in bed to killing a homeless guy. Oh my God, you ran over a hobo.