Sheldon: I just don't want to be yet another flip-flop fatality.

Howard: For all we know Glacinda the Troll wasn't even a real woman. She could have been a fifty year old truck driver from New Jersey.

Zack: I don't get it.
Leonard: A dolphin might.

Sheldon: It's illegal to spay a human being.

Sheldon: I agreed to speak to you this evening because I was told that you're the best and the brightest of this university's doctoral candidates. Hmm. Of course, that's like saying you are the most important electron in a hydrogen atom. 'Cause you see, there's only one electron in a hydrogen atom. Best and brightest my sweet patootee. All right, let's begin. Show of hands, who here is familiar with the concept of topological insulators? Don't kid yourselves.

Sheldon: Sadly Penny, this evening I am the dark knight roaming these mean streets alone. A windbreaker for my cape and a stern expression for my cowl.

Howard: This is the worst cobbler I've ever eaten. It tastes like it's made of actual ground-up shoemaker.
Sheldon: Amusing. A play on the two meanings of cobbler.

Sheldon: Yes, this is doctor Sheldon Cooper. Is this the Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny? Sorry to bother you. (to different person) Hello I'm looking for a Zack Johnson that used to have coitus with my neighbour Penny. Coitus. It means intercourse and I have a feeling I'm speaking to the right Zack.

Sheldon: Unlikely, but make your case. Keeping in mind your critical attitude is ruining our Saturday night together, and I'm not above minimizing your window.

Sheldon: It's hard to say no to Yoo-hoo. The name literally beckons.

Sheldon: My hands are magic.

Stuart: So are you guys coming to my New Year's Eve costume party?
Sheldon: Of course. We're coming as the Justice League of America.
Howard: Switching it up from last year when we came as the Justice League of America.
Sheldon: To that point, it occurs to me that we might have an opportunity to finally snare Best Group Costume if we shore up our weak link, which is clearly Leonard as Superman.
Leonard: Hey, I got new boots this year. Guaranteed to add three inches.
Sheldon: That's sad. Let's ask ourselves, is there anyone we know who would make a more manly and convincing son of Krypton?
Stuart: Than than Leonard in high-heeled boots? Howard's mother in high-heeled boots?
Sheldon: I was thinking specifically of the gentleman over there moving his lips as he enjoys the latest exploits of Betty and Veronica.
Leonard: Zack?
Howard: He is the only person we know with actual muscles.
Leonard: You can't replace me with Zack.
Sheldon: Why not? Penny did it.
Howard: Yeah, she seems happier. Why wouldn't we be?
Zack: Score. I got an Archie, Betty and Veronica, and a Jughead. All set for my weekend number twos.
Sheldon: Congratulations. Zack, how would you like to be Superman?
Zack: I don't know, sounds like a lot of responsibility.

Leonard: Does your family have a history of heart disease?
Wolowitz: My family is the history of heart disease. There's a cave painting in France of one of my ancestors doing this. *Mimics heart attack*

Leonard: All I'm saying is, if they took all the money they spent trying to make a decent Hulk movie, they could probably make an actual Hulk.

Sheldon: (knocking) All my friends. (knocking) All my friends. (knocking) All my friends.
Howard: Wow, I think it's like Beetlejuice. We must've said his name too many times.