Amy: I don't need your medicine. I'm not really sick. I got better two days ago.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: It's been so nice having Sheldon take care of me, I just wanted that to last longer.
Bernadette: You should tell him.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: (From the other room) Amy! Are you strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Raj: Okay, I have a request to make.
Amy: And now he can talk. I want to cut open your brain and see what the heck is going on in there.

Sheldon: If you're going to replace Wolowitz, I need to know a little bit more about you.
Stuart: All right.
Sheldon: Wolowitz went to MIT. What's your educational background?
Stuart: I went to art school.
Sheldon: Equally ridiculous. Let's go.

Howard: If you don't leave now, she'll use food and guilt to keep you there the rest of your life.

Leonard: So now let's bring out theoretical physicist, Dr, Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish-born, French-educated Madame Curie. Co-discover of radioactivity. She was a hero of science until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became filled with blood, and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't also happen to any of you. Are we done? Can we go?

Sheldon: All games are made up. They're not found in nature. You don't just dig in the ground, and come across a rich vein of Rock'em Sock'em Robots.

Howard: Honestly, if I could bend that far what would I need with you.
Bernadette: If you could bend that far, you'd be doing both of us a favor.

Leonard: In what universe is that a present?
Sheldon: It's not a present, it's the present. Look. There's you and me. It's Penny and Amy. We're playing Pictionary. In the present.
Penny: Oh, my God, we're gonna kill them.

Wil Wheaton: Problem, first time director?

Sheldon: Steven Hawking's a genius and he talks like a robot. It's everything I ever wanted in a friend.

Amy: I have a lab full of coked up monkeys with nothing to lose.

Sheldon: Your threats are empty. Nothing can move me.
(Howard drives his car slowly towards Sheldon, pushing his chair forward)
Sheldon: That's it! I'm calling campus security! You prepare for the scolding of your life!

Leonard: You come to the end of the tunnel and find a large chest. What do you do? And, Howard, do not say, I feel up the large chest.
Howard: Excuse me. I'm a married man now. I wasn't going to say anything so juvenile.
Leonard: Great. What do you do?
Howard: I walk up to the large chest, bury my face in it and go blublublublublublublublu!

Amy: You're all wasting your time. Sheldon is the most qualified for the job. And no amount of gravity-defying bosom is going to change that.

Bernadette: It smells pretty ripe in here. You kinda feel it in your eyes.