Raj: You know, Adam West is my favorite Batman? Well, after Michael Keaton, Christian Bale and Batman from The Lego Movie.
Howard: Don't say that to him.
Raj: What? He beat out George Clooney. And that's something. Like, I love me some Clooney.
Leonard: Don't say that to anyone.

Bernadette: We'll take you to the mall to get it done.
Penny: Why? I can do it right here.
Amy: Really? You have a piercing gun?
Penny: No. All you need is a needle and an ice cube. I've done it, like, a dozen times.
Amy: Oh, I don't know.
Penny: Oh, come on. I'll be gentle. Let me take your ear virginity.
Bernadette: This party's weird.

Penny: Uh, have you read the online reviews for this place?
Stuart: Eh, the Internet's so negative. I try to avoid it.
Penny: All right. Well, Heather H. says, "The owner stared at me the whole time and didn't blink once."
Kelly M. says, "The creepy guy who runs it asked me out, then called himself stupid before I could say no."
Jessica K. says, "I told the weird owner that I liked his shirt. He took it off and gave it to me."
Stuart: See? Negative.

Sheldon: Wasn't Mary Magdalene a woman of ill repute?
Mary Cooper: When your idiot brother redeems mankind, he can date whoever he wants.

Howard: Sheldon, instead of focusing on Amy dating other guys, maybe you should start thinking about dating another girl.
Sheldon: That's ridiculous.
Raj: Why? You never thought you'd end up in a relationship, and then you met Amy. Maybe there's someone else out there for you.
Sheldon: True, but Penny's married, and so is Bernadette. And your girlfriend has red hair and white skin, which really rubs up against my clown phobia.

Sheldon: En garde, Leonard. Prepare yourself for a rigorous touching.

Leonard: I'm really nervous.
Howard: I know. We've been waiting so long for this.
Raj: We've built it up in our heads so much.
Wil Wheaton: Guys, it's just a movie.
Leonard: That's true.
Howard: He's right.
Raj: It is.
Wil Wheaton: Although, we all remember Jar-Jar.
Raj: Leonard, I'm scared again.

Howard: Calm down. There's a theme to this weekend. We are going to Mexico in Feynman's van to stay at the vacation house Feynman bought with the money from his Nobel prize.
Sheldon: Viva la Imodium. Ay, ay ay!

Amy: So, Penny, how's married life?
Penny: Oh, it's good. I just wish Leonard would work up the courage to tell Sheldon he's moving in here.
Bernadette: You guys still aren't living together?
Penny: We are. I mean, he sleeps here. But it's only a matter of time before Sheldon has a bad dream and tries to climb into bed with the Leonard-shaped pile of pillows.

Raj: If this was Star Trek, we could use a phaser to blast it off.
Howard: No, it's too broad of a beam. You'd need something more precise, like Superman's heat vision.
Sheldon: Ooh, the Green Lantern's ring could make a big green hand that unscrews it.
Raj: If you need a green hand, why not just use the Hulk?
Sheldon: Oh, please, the Hulk would never get across the border with that temper.
Leonard: Guys, excuse me, not that calling one of the Avengers isn't a perfectly reasonable choice, but we're scientists. Don't you think we can figure this out using actual science?
Sheldon: Yes, we could use science. But it's your bachelor party. Lighten up.

Raj: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I-I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
Howard: Hubba Bubba over Dubble Bubble? You're crazy.
Raj: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants.

Leonard: Look, even if it's not him, Amy's probably going to date someone at some point.
Sheldon: You really think so?
Leonard: Of course. She deserves to be happy.
Sheldon: How dare you!

Penny: I think it's great you guys want to get more exercise, but do you really think sports is the right choice for you?
Leonard: What are you saying? We're not coordinated enough to play sports?
Penny: Okay, Leonard, sweetheart, you twisted your ankle playing Scrabble.
Leonard: I got a triple-word score with a double letter Q. If that's not a time to bust out the Scrabble dance, what's the point of having one?

Mary Cooper: I've always had a special place in my heart for Leonard. Taking care of my baby all these years.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I take care of him.
Mary Cooper: Sure you do.

Penny: I'm really happy that you and Amy are back together.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Leonard: I'm also really happy, but I can't pretend it's for you. New Star Wars in three days!