Althea: Now I see three of you. Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense?

Sheldon: Amy and I are living together in sin, like a couple of New Yorkers. Now, while you scold us, I'm going to get a knife and a fork. Joe may be sloppy, but Sheldon's not.

Penny: Okay, let's try this. Think of yourself as one of those limited edition toys people like to collect.
Sheldon: I already do.

Amy: Do you need anything else?
Sheldon: You know exactly what I need.
Amy: Fine. [sings and plays autoharp] Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr.
Sheldon: That's nice. Now in German.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Weiches Kätzchen, warmes Kätzchen, das nie und nimmer murrt. Liebes Kätzchen, müdes Kätzchen, schnurrt, schnurrt, schnurrt.
Sheldon: Great. Now Mandarin.
Amy: [sings and plays autoharp] Ruǎnmiánmián de xiǎo māomī máoróngrōng, kuàilè kēshuì qīngqiǎo māomī, gūlǔ gūlǔ gūlǔ.
Sheldon: Now Navajo.

Sheldon: So, did you defile my mother or not?

Bernadette: Yeah, I mean, with you and my parents, she's gonna be fine.
Stuart: Ah, of course she is.
Bernadette: And that day care is great.
Stuart: It is. I went to check it out, and they are very cautious about letting strange men with no kids peek in the windows.

Raj: Wail till I Snapchat that my friends might be working on a top secret government project.
Leonard: Are you crazy? You can't put that on Snapchat.
Raj: Fine, I'll put it on Facebook like a caveman.

Amy: I mean, seriously, you have got to let me scan your brain when you're being dishonest so I can see what lights up.
Penny: That's super helpful, Amy. Thanks a lot. I can't wait to do that.
Amy: I can see a clump of bitch cells lightin' up from here.

Penny: Leonard, it's sweet you're excited about this, but it'll be a miracle if one person asks for my autograph.
Leonard: Are you kidding? I once paid $20 for Theo Sassler's signature.
Penny: Who's that?
Leonard: Oh, I don't even know. I just liked his name. Theo Sassler!

Amy: I'll miss you.
Sheldon: I'll miss you, too.
Amy: I'll miss you more.
Sheldon: Well, if X equals the amount that you'll miss me, then I'll miss you X plus one.
Amy: (giggles) If you miss me X plus one, I'll miss you open parentheses X plus one, close parentheses to the second-

Leonard: Now we're going as Hulk and She-Hulk. I don't want to take my shirt off at Comic-Con.
Sheldon: If I may speak for Comic-Con, we don't want that either.

Penny: Seriously, none of you liked it?
Bernadette: I thought it was brave. Does that count as liking it?
Penny: You know, how come nobody's talking about Howard's dopey haircut?
Bernadette: I think he looks cute.
Howard: And I think you're cute.
Raj: I think you're both cute.
Penny: I think I hate all of you nerds.

Raj: Maybe moving in was a bad idea. I haven't been here one day, I'm already causing problems.
Penny: You didn't do anything. It's Sheldon.
Leonard: "You didn't do anything.It's Sheldon." That'd make a nice needlepoint pillow.

Sheldon: How dare you.
Amy: Oh, you heard me. Your experimental bona fides are laughable.
Sheldon: Whoa, whoa! Now you're making fun of my bona fides?
Amy: Can't make fun of something that's a null set.
Penny: I feel like I should say "damn!"
Leonard: Do it.
Penny: Damn!

Amy: Well, for starters, there's nothing wrong with keeping our toothbrushes in the same holder.
Penny: Sheldon, what do you say to that?
Sheldon: I think we should see other people.