Sheldon: Well, of course I'm worried about you, I want you to be safe.
Amy: And I want you to be safe.
Sheldon: I will be. I'll have my friends with me. If anything should go wrong, I can use them as human shields.

Sheldon: Okay, let's see what we've got so far.
Amy: I arrive in a Little House on the Prairie style horse-drawn buggy.
Sheldon: Where you are met with an honor guard of stormtroopers.
Amy: Do you think that might be jarring, going from wholesome pioneers to space Nazis?
Sheldon: I see what you're saying. You're thinking that you should arrive in a replica of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
Amy: It's not what I'm thinking, and to save you the trouble for the future, it will never be what I'm thinking.

Raj: What, y-you stole our Bitcoin?
Sheldon: Oh, calm down. All I did was sneak onto your computer and download your Bitcoin onto a flash drive.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I'm not keeping it. I just wanted to watch you sweat.
Howard: If you want to watch him sweat, walk up a flight of stairs with him.
Sheldon: I've waited seven long years, but it finally happened.
Leonard: Where's our money?
Sheldon: That's the best part. It's on the Batman flash drive on your key chain. You've had it in your pocket all along.
Leonard: Sheldon I lost that key chain years ago.
Sheldon: Really? D-D-Did you look under things?

Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.

Penny: Yeah, and Amy gave me this plastic ring and told me to hold on to it.
Howard: I got one, too.
Leonard: Yeah, same.
Raj: Yeah, me, too. But-but Cinnamon ate it. I-I'll get it back tomorrow.

Sheldon: Neither of them will be the actual cake. I'm just using it as a bargaining chip to get Amy to agree to the whole wedding party getting rings and us getting one ring to rule them all.

Amy: Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
Sheldon: Yeah, minus five, because this is mine.

Sheldon: How are you feeling?
Amy: Ugh. My stomach aches, I got the chills, my mouth tastes weird, it hurts to swallow, and I've got a little double vision.
Sheldon: Yeah. I'm feeling better, too.

Clerk: Here's your license. Now, if you wait over there, we'll call you when the officiant's ready.
Sheldon: Do we need a blood test?
Clerk: No.
Sheldon: Well, then, how will you know whether or not we have syphilis?
Clerk: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't have that.
Amy: Okay, Sheldon, you officially exceeded the number of times I hoped to hear the word "syphilis" on my wedding day.

Stuart: Hey, dude.
Denise: Dude?
Stuart: Yeah, you know, just want you to know that I don't think of you as a woman.
Denise: Oh, perfect. I don't think of you as a man.

Sheldon: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers.
Howard: What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
Sheldon: That would be hard to test, because irritating is a subjective quality.
Howard: Strongly disagree.

Sheldon: Instead of being in charge, I can be the vocal opposition, criticizing and badgering the president at every turn.
Amy: I think you'll be really good at that.
Sheldon: Me, too.
Leonard: I think I made a huge mistake.
Penny: Me, too.

Leonard: I want to know, why aren't you proud of me?
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, isn't the real question, "Why aren't you proud of yourself?"
Leonard: No, that is a question - and I ask it a lot - but let's stick with the one I asked you.
Beverly Hofstadter: But why do you think I'm not proud of you?
Leonard: Because you never say it. But two days into chatting with Penny, and you can't stop telling her how great she is.
Beverly Hofstadter: She is great. Honestly, of all of my children's spouses, she's the one that I'm most impressed by.
Leonard: Seriously?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. She's confident, she's thoughtful, and she never complained about you once. I know what kind of strength that takes.

Amy: Feel any better?
Sheldon: I feel terrible. Well, should we make love now?
Amy: How can you even think about sex?
Sheldon: Hey, I'm a man; I have annual needs just like anyone.

Howard: Now you're gonna want to slowly switch lanes.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Because there are only two, and you're not in either of them.