Amy: But how do we apply quantitative metrics to something as subjective as choosing a wedding party?
Sheldon: That decision only seems subjective. In reality, people in a wedding party perform very specific functions, and some will perform those better than others. If I may use a superhero analogy-
Amy: You may not.

Howard: How you feeling?
Bernadette: Eh. But I am really excited to meet our son.
Howard: Me, too. I thought I'd be super freaked out. But I'm ready for this. Well, not the part where you're in labor and you squeeze my fingers till they turn blue.
Bernadette: I'm sorry. That must be really painful for you.
Howard: It is. I mean, last time, I- Okay, I see what you're doing.

Amy: So we break down each of the roles into their component parts, and then design specialized tests for each.
Sheldon: Exactly. Boy, if I had known getting married was going to involve so much science, I'd have proposed years ago.

Sheldon: Well, I would say that this constitutes a catering crisis.
Amy: I agree. Who's gonna step up and handle it?
Leonard: Doesn't matter. This is fine.
Amy: Penny?
Penny: (mouth full) What?
Howard: You know what? I'll take care of it.

Sheldon: So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells to spare my feelings?
Howard: No, of course not, because we don't want to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound of crunching eggshells.

Sheldon: Excuse me, b-before we start eating, I-I would like to make a toast.
Leonard: Oh, nice.
Sheldon: If only I could think of one. Someone else go.

Penny: Hey. Here's the sewing kit you asked for.
Sheldon: Ooh! A minute, 19. Quick.
Penny: You were timing me?
Sheldon: Yes. I am going through a bit of a timing phase. How long will it last? We'll find out.

Amy: Are you sure you're gonna be okay this weekend?
Sheldon: Of course. No, I'm much more concerned about you. I know how you gals behave when the men are away.
Amy: You do?
Sheldon: I've read The Bacchae by Euripides. Drinking wine, riding panthers Proof that girls have gone wild for over 2,500 years.

Sheldon: Well, regardless, I can change.
Howard: Sure.
Raj: Yeah, of course you can.
Sheldon: You know, everybody thinks I'm so predictable. Well, tomorrow I'm gonna show up at work and do something no one will expect.
Howard: Wear a baseball cap backwards to prove your point?
Sheldon: ... Yes, but which hat?
Raj: Gryffindor.
Sheldon: Well, now that you guessed it, I'm not gonna do it.
Raj: Yeah, you will.
Sheldon: Yeah.

Raj: Well, since we're sharing pictures, I have one to contribute.
Leonard: Please don't let it be you and your dog in the bathtub.
Raj: It's not. But don't swipe.

Howard: That's great, everyone's got weekend plans. Amy has her bachelorette party, and Sheldon's gonna go to the woods and get hunted for sport.
Penny: Yeah, as someone who has to track him every time he gets lost in IKEA, I feel like I'd be really good at that.

Sheldon: I'm sorry. It's, I'm trying to show you that I can change. I don't want you to miss out on things because of me.
Amy: I know you don't.
Sheldon: You know, and maybe somewhere out there, there is a little girl who will see you on Wil's show and realize that she, too, can grow up to be a brilliant, amazing, successful scientist.
Amy: Thank you.
Sheldon: Who is really terrible at chess.
Amy: Got it.
Sheldon: No, no, no. I mean really bad. What was your queen doing over there, going shopping?

Sheldon: You know what? Just give me a copy of Action Comics 1000, and I'll be on my way.
Stuart: Sorry. All out.
Sheldon: Now you just let people come in and buy them? I didn't realize your soul was also for sale.
Stuart: Well, it wasn't, but, uh, make me an offer.

Howard: We're here. What's going on?
Penny: Okay. As far as I can see, science is dead, 'cause Leonard killed it. And, uh, I don't know who the Romulans are, but those guys know how to party.

Bernadette: If you really want to help, put on a rubber glove, reach on up there and start pulling.
Penny: I know you're joking, but I grew up on a farm. I'll do it.