President Siebert: Uh, but what he does understand is how the universe works, and that's what's important. Not what comes out of his mouth. [manic laugh]

Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.

Amy: I wonder what it could be.
Sheldon: Oh, could be anything. A flute, a letter opener, one of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.

Bernadette: So, I talked to your supervisor, and she said that she never stopped you from working on my team, because you never asked her.
Penny: Really? Oh, you know, you should know, she's been taking our new antidepressant, and lying is one of the main side effects.

Leonard: Just give them a chance. Uh, science has a history of difficult people. Look at, uh, Newton, who was a jerk to Leibniz, and Leibniz, who was a jerk to everyone.
Penny: Yeah, you know, and I don't need to tell you that gravitational waves are disturbances in the curvature of space-time. Or that the- Hey, you worked on the movie Interstellar?

Raj: Sheldon, super-asymmetry is your paper. Everyone knows you were there first.
Leonard: Mm, actually, the Nobel Committee has sometimes favored experimentalists like them over theoreticians like you.
Sheldon: No, that's just a scary campfire story like the guy with the hook.

Sheldon: Uh, can you believe this? Doctors Pemberton and Campbell have been doing a press tour trying to take credit for super-asymmetry. They didn't even know what they were finding.
Raj: So what? I mean, no one's gonna give them credit for accidentally discovering something.
Howard: Yeah, who remembers the guy who was trying to find India and discovered America instead? What was his name again?

Raj: Oh, man, that last episode of Star Trek: Discovery was crazy.
Leonard: Whoa, whoa, whoa, I-I'm actually one behind.
Howard: I haven't started the new season yet.
Leonard: Ooh, uh, how about this week's Walking Dead?
Howard: Two behind.
Raj: Three behind.
Howard: Black Mirror?
Leonard: No.
Raj: No.
Leonard: Come on, there must be something we've all seen.
Raj: Oh, how about that video of my dog I sent you, where she's growling at a pinecone?
Howard: I actually hadn't watched it yet, but thanks for ruining the ending.

Bernadette: But the real story was so sweet. The little astronaut was afraid, but he still went to space, and that's what made him brave.
Howard: [scoffs] But in space, the other astronauts made fun of him, and that's a thing he doesn't want to relive.
Bernadette: I get that. I guess it would just take a really brave man to put an embarrassing story like that out into the world, just so it might help some frightened children not feel so alone.
Howard: Wow. That is quite the guilt trip. Are you sure you're not Jewish?

Dr. Pemberton: It is such a pleasure to meet you.
Amy: Oh, it's really nice to meet you, too. I mean, we thought we'd have to wait decades to get confirmation for our theory.
Sheldon: Yes, thanks to you, I'll get to eat my Nobel dinner with my original teeth.

Denise: Do you think when Krypto the Superdog is out flying, Superman has to fly after him with a little baggie?
Stuart: Hmm. Haven't really thought about it before. But he doesn't need a baggie, because he just blasts the poop with his heat vision.
Denise: You've thought about it before.
Stuart: Oh, I've thought about it a lot.

Sheldon: Is one of the forms the 599B/C? Because, if so, it has a doozy of a typo.
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: All right, well, I don't want to spoil anything, but you might want to start practicing your "siglature."

President Siebert: Just a heads-up. Doctors Pemberton and Campbell from Fermilab are flying to Los Angeles and they are eager to meet you.
Sheldon: Confirming my theory, eager to meet me. They are checking all my boxes.

Howard: So, my incredible wife has some exciting news.
Bernadette: Howie, stop. I don't want to brag.
Howard: Oh, okay, sorry.
Bernadette: Really? No one's gonna ask?
Leonard: Sorry. What's your news?
Bernadette: The drug I've been working on for the past five years just got approved by the FDA.
Penny: Wow.
Raj: Oh, congratulations. Was that the decongestant you developed?
Bernadette: No, we had to rebrand that as a solvent for mining equipment.

Amy: Sheldon, look at this.
Sheldon: Wait a minute. How do I know this isn't one of those joke phones that squirts water in my face?
Amy: Because that's not even a thing.