Amy: The meme has reached full penetration.
Sheldon: Pun intended?
Amy: No. Happy accident.

Raj: You heard me, I forbidded it.
Priya: Forbidded it?
Raj: Forbayded it?

Leonard: Fine, if Zack's going to be Superman, I want to be Green Lantern.
Raj: But I'm Green Lantern.
Leonard: You can be Aquaman.
Raj: I don't want to be Aquaman. He sucks. He sucks underwater. He sucks fish pee.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I believe Aquaman uses his telepathic powers to request the fish do their business elsewhere.
Zack: Hey, babe.
Penny: I'm still mad at you.
Zack: Well, you won't be when you hear the great news.
Penny: What great news?
Zack: We're going to a costume party at the comic book store on New Year's Eve, and you get to be Wonder Woman.
Sheldon: Complete with bulletproof bracelets and lasso of truth. Invisible plane sold separately.

Amy: Travel makes me constipated so I am the ideal hotel roommate.

Amy: I'm suddenly feeling flushed. My heart rate is elevated, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry. In addition, I keep involuntarily saying hoo.
Penny: Oh, we know what's causing that, don't we?
Amy: It's no mystery. I obviously have the flu coupled with sudden-onset Tourette's syndrome.

Sheldon: Well if it isn't Wil Wheaton, the Jar Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe.

Sheldon: Pay no attention to that man in the bed.

Amy: Is he always like this when he loses?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. You should have been here for the great Jenga tantrum of 2008.
Leonard: You bumped the table and you know it.

Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: "Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud."
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavor, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

Sheldon: Clarify something for me. Isn't the point of a communal meal the exchange of ideas and opinions, an opportunity to consider important issues of the day?
Leonard: It is. You just kinda put a damper on things when you said, 'The next person I see talking with food in their mouth will be put to death'.

Raj: You slept with my sister?
Leonard: Yeah?
Howard: How could you? We had a pact.
Raj: Excuse me, I think "How could you, she's my sister" takes precedence over a 5-year-old pinkie swear.

Sheldon: Impressive, but we must be cautious.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: Today, it's a Chinese-food-retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and kills Sarah Connor.

Sheldon: (To the smoking monkey) You really are an ass.

Sheldon: I never joke about safety.

Howard: Hey look, it's Leonard and R2-D-bag!