Bernadette: Amy, I noticed your status still says "in a relationship" on Facebook.
Amy: You're right. I should probably let all of my Facebook friends know.
Penny, I'm no longer in a relationship.

Raj: How could you send her away?!
Sheldon: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with your genitals.

Bernadette: Great. And then maybe after, we can watch a dirty movie, and if I anybody has any questions about what happened or how, we can answer them.

Amy: How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me, and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia.

Howard: We will, we will, percussive shock you.
Raj: We will, we will, percussive shock you.
Sheldon: Buddy, you're a boy, make a big noise, playin' in the street, gonna be a big man someday.
You got mud on your face, you big disgrace.
Kickin' your can all over the place.
I have an eidetic memory. Sometimes it's a curse.

Leonard: Sheldon, we've been together so long, it's hard to remember a time you weren't in my life. And believe me, I try.
You make me laugh.
You make me a better scientist.
You make me crazy.
You're more than just my roommate, you're my brother.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Leonard: Happy birthday, buddy.

Howard: Really? You're ahead of Bale? The man who personified the words, "I'm Batman."
Adam West: I never had to say I'm Batman. I showed up. People knew I was Batman.
Everywhere I went. On the TV show, mall openings, Julie Newmar's bungalow.
Leonard: I'm sold- you're ahead of Bale.
Adam West: There's another reason I should be higher on the list. All those other guys had muscles built into their costumes. All I had in my Batsuit was 100%, grade-A West.

Sheldon: Enjoy the neurobiology conference.
Amy: I will. I wish you were here.
Sheldon: At a neurobiology conference? What a mean thing to say.
Amy: Okay, I'm glad you're not here?
Sheldon: Aww, you always know just what to say after I tell you what to say.

Penny: So, what did we miss?
Alfred Hofstadter: Oh, just Mary and I getting to know each other a little.
Mary Cooper: Leonard, your father is just charming.
Beverly Hofstadter: He's also broke. Did he mention that?

Wil Wheaton: See, that's what I mean. When you wake up in the morning, whether this is the greatest movie ever or a total piece of crap, your life isn't going to change at all.
Howard: He's right.
Leonard: Yeah. No matter what happens, we're coming back tomorrow to watch it again.

Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars. I don't need to tell you that it is worth far more than its face value of $15.50. I trust you'll give it to someone worthy.
(Sheldon hands the ticket to Leonard)
Leonard: You got it. Penny might want to join us-
(Sheldon yanks the ticket out of Leonard's hand and goes to Raj)
Sheldon: This is my ticket to Star Wars...

Amy: (watching Fun with Flags) I'm going to kill him.

Sheldon: Uh-oh. According to this Mexican Customs Web site, visitors may not bring more than five laser discs, 20 compact discs or 12 VHS tapes.
Raj: We don't have any of those.
Sheldon: How can you be sure? VHS was king when Feynman drove this van. For all we know, there are hidden compartments lousy with Jane Fonda workout videos.
Leonard: If there was a hidden compartment, don't you think you'd be stuffed in it by now?

Sheldon: Now this is your spot. You're very protective of it. When anyone else tries to sit here, you berate them relentlessly. It sounds mean, but somehow you make it adorable.

Raj: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Sheldon: Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy, eh? Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.