Sheldon: Oh, Penny, I'm trying to take an interest in other people. Uh, how was your girls' night?
Penny: Oh, it was fine.
Sheldon: Did you have anything to eat?
Penny: Uh, chips.
Sheldon: (stammers) Anything to drink?
Penny: Some wine.
Sheldon: Well, I'm just playing tennis against the drapes here.

Amy: Hey, there's another dance club nearby. I mean, I don't know how you feel about Latin music, but according to their "horas of operacion", they're open.
Penny: Maybe we should just call it a night.
Amy: You sure? They're open till dos.

Amy: Sheldon, it's humiliating. Thanks to you, my colleagues are gossiping about our sex life.
Sheldon: What is there to gossip about? We barely have one.

Leonard: Don't worry, we won't be doing much sleeping anyway. It's like an all-night party. There's trivia contests and Dungeons & Dragons. As we like to say, it's "off the chain mail."

Bernadette: Nobody needs a mooch living in their house forever.
Stuart: Hey, that's no way to talk about your baby.

Penny: So, relax. We're happy to have you.
Raj: Thank you, but how do I know you're not saying that just to be nice?
Penny: Do you actually pay for that haircut?
Raj: That'll do it.

Sheldon: Beverly pointed out that I'm experiencing insecurities in my relationship with Amy, in the same way that Leonard and Penny are in their relationship.
Penny: What are you talking about? We're fine.
Sheldon: Yes, you're fine as long as you have a buffer living with you to distract from your marital problems. It used to be me. Now it's Raj and his attack Tribble.

Sheldon: Well, what do you know? Here I was, waiting to be bored with biology, and instead you tickle my intellectual fancy. Which, unlike my body, is an okay place to tickle.

Leonard: Hey, Olsen twins!
Penny: What?
Leonard: Well, I mean, I'm sitting right here. You're talking about my feelings and somehow leaving me out of the conversation.

Bernadette: Plus, I think I'm setting a good example for Halley, to show her that women can be mothers and still have satisfying careers. Sure, she won't know where I went or if I'm ever coming back. That'll just make the ten minutes between when I get home (voice breaking) and her bedtime even more special.

Leonard: We came home from work and we found you.
Sheldon: Home from work? What time is it?
Penny: It's 9 o'clock.
Sheldon: 9?! What happened to 8 and 7 and all the other o'clocks?

Bert: Everyone, this is Rebecca.
Rebecca: Hi.
Everybody: Hey.
Sheldon: She's younger and far more attractive than he is. They're copying you two!

Howard: Look, if you're not ready to go back to work, we'll figure something out.
Bernadette: No, I'll be fine.
Stuart: It might be good for her. Howard's mother was around him all the time, and he's a world-class mama's boy.
Howard: (scoffs) I mean, wh-why would you say that?
Stuart: Go ahead, have a tantrum; that'll prove me wrong.

Zack: Hey, we should all have dinner sometime.
Penny: Uh, yeah, sure, I'll check with Leonard.
Zack: Cool, I'll check with Sara. (To his phone) Sara, pull up my calendar. It never works for me.

Sheldon: I feel so betrayed. You know, all my life I thought Uncle Sam was a friendly uncle who brought you presents. Turns out he's the other kind.