Sheldon: That may be true, but Dr. Nowitzki's just a friend. In fact, I wouldn't have even noticed she's a woman if she hadn't worn that bathing suit that highlighted her bosom.

Howard: I'm not even sure that's possible.
Colonel Williams: Well, I ran it by some colleagues at MIT, and they thought they could get it done in four months.
Howard: Four months?
Sheldon: Yeah, we'll do it in two! (laughs) Hi, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. I'm the actual brains behind this project. Also, engineers aren't real scientists, MIT's a trade school, and the Death Star is from Star Wars, not Star Trek! But otherwise, thank you for your service.

Penny: Okay, I'm confused. Which one is Mr. Robot?
Leonard: I'll give you a hint. We're watching Daredevil.

Howard: Look at you. Willy Wonka would roll you to the juicing room.

Guy #2: Ready to go?
Guy: Hang on. This guy's telling me how he got the Serial Ape-ist girl to marry him.
Guy #2: This guy? But he's wearing a change maker.
Penny: I think it's hot.
Leonard: That's right. I'm her change daddy.

Howard: Huh, they screwed up and gave us steamed broccoli.
Raj: Oh, no, that's mine.
Leonard: Really? The last green thing I saw you eat was a Skittle.

Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I'm not sure. Earlier tonight, things began organically, and now it's feeling forced, like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.

Amy: Well, I do appreciate you working on this. I'm sorry you were embarrassed.
Sheldon: And now I understand that some things are just between you and me, and in the event of redness and swelling, Dr. Fink.

Raj: Don't you even feel a little bad sponging off your friends?
Stuart: Hey, look, I went to art college, I tried to make it as a graphic artist, a comic book artist, and you know what I got for my efforts? A visible rib cage. I'm not kidding. You can see my heart beating.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, the most interesting thing just happened with this spoon.
Howard: Unless it was singing "Be Our Guest," I doubt it.

Leonard: We're pinned down!
Howard: We can't get through!
Raj: Sheldon, get over here and help!
Sheldon: Okay, one second.
Leonard: Sheldon, why are you jumping up and down?
Sheldon: I'm trying to shoot.
Howard: Then use the shoot button, not the "wonderful thing about Tiggers" button!

Amy: Okay, fine, let's say you never win a Nobel Prize. Let's say you spend your life doing solid scientific research surrounded by friends and loved ones who appreciate you, not for what you've accomplished but for who you are as a man. Wouldn't that be a life well-lived?
Sheldon: You're so cute. I'm going to go learn how to walk on stilts.
Amy: So many warnings.

Sheldon: All right, then. Let's go to the bedroom, remove our clothes, fold them neatly, and engage in frenzied lovemaking.
Amy: What if we don't fold our clothes at all.
Sheldon: I d- ... or what if we fold them?

Amy: You know, I like harp lessons, but I'm thinking of switching to elevator repair lessons.

Penny: Oh, hey, and do yourself a favor, all right? When Beverly gets here, do not bring up last night.
All right? As far as you're concerned, you don't know anything, you didn't see anything. I want you just to play dumb.
*Beverly is standing in the doorway behind Penny, listening to the conversation*
Sheldon: It was nice of her to show us playing dumb with an example.