Penny: No, I think she's lonely. She's been reaching out.
Leonard: Okay, just be careful. You think you're getting close to her, and the next thing you know, you're featured in a book called He's Doing It On Purpose: Raising a Teenage Bed-Wetter.

Sheldon: Uh, let's-let's do it here, in-in the evenings, after everyone's gone home.
Bert: I just have to see if my evenings are free. That's a joke. They are.

Sheldon: Stephen Hawking is a genius. If he said 'no,' I wasn't going to waste time on her father.

Amy: Okay, how do you want to play this? Do you want to pretend like nothing's bothering you and blow up later, or do you just want to be a maniac right now?

Leonard: So do you not want the cake?
Penny: Try and take it away, see what happens. (Penny starts eating as Leonard checks his phone).
Leonard: Oh, crap, it is our anniversary.
Penny: (Her mouth covered in chocolate cake) Happy anniversary!

Amy: The more I told him about my lab, the pissier he got. You know what he said to me? He said, "I hope all your correlations turn out to be specious."
Bernadette: He said that to your face? What a dick.

Bernadette: You know, there's so much money in pharmaceuticals, we don't even wash out our old test tubes. We just throw 'em out and get new ones.
Amy: I just got a brand new, state-of-the-art fMRI machine.
Bernadette: Whoa, those things are so expensive.
Amy: I know! Sometimes I just lie down in there and take a nap. It's like a million dollar bunk bed.

Amy: That's such a relief. I mean, part of me was worried I was being unfair to Sheldon.
Bernadette: Take that part of yourself and hide it away. Just like I did with last year's bonus check that I didn't get.

Leonard: Look, I know I screwed up, but it was only one interview. How much damage could it have caused?
Ms. Davis: Would you like for me to read you the e-mails from donors asking why are they giving us money if physics is a dead end?
Leonard: I didn't say it was a dead end. I just said that I was worried it might be.
Ms. Davis: So if I just said I was worried you might not have a job next week, how would you feel?
Leonard: Light-headed, and glad you asked me to sit down.

Amy: Okay, you ready?
Sheldon: Yeah, almost. I'm working on my facial expressions. See, uh, I've got interested. Hmm.
I've got very interested. Hmm.
Oh, and, uh, enraged.
Amy: Why would you be enraged?
Sheldon: Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.

Sheldon: I can't believe you don't care.
Professor Proton: Believe it.
Sheldon: Well, I care, a lot, and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me.
Professor Proton: I think that's true of most people.

Amy: I thought we agreed on June 15.
Sheldon: That's the day after Flag Day. Everyone'll be partied out.

Sheldon: Penny, this is serious. My reputation is on the line. What are people gonna think when they see us collaborating?
Penny: I don't know. Poor Bert?

Ruchi: So, what do you guys do?
Raj: Well, I am an astrophysicist, so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars, that's kind of my office. He sells comic books to children.

Stuart: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, if you'd like to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion: buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner.
Raj: Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. But he doesn't let that get him down. He believes in himself. Even though the whole world has made it clear he should not.