Doctor Wolcott: Well, let me show you around. This is the chair where I do most of my thinking, my thinking about work. Now, my thinking about people who have wronged me, I do over there.
Sheldon: I've always said that I should get a grudge chair. Leonard, have I not always said that?
Leonard: Mm, you have, but you were worried you'd spend too much time in it.
Sheldon: Yeah. That is a real concern.

Amy: Well, if we're changing things, then instead of throwing confetti, we'll release butterflies.
Sheldon: Airborne worms?! Have you lost your mind?! Well, if you're going to do that, then I am changing the officiant to that husky Spider-Man that hangs out at the Chinese Theater.
Amy: Fine. Wedding toasts in Latin.
Sheldon: Great. Vows in Klingon.
Amy: Then I'm changing the flower girl to a dog. And guess what he'll be scattering instead of petals!

Penny: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises. (inhales, exhales)
Bernadette: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Bernadette: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.

Amy: What's with the blinking?
Sheldon: It's Morse code. So we can talk about without hurting --'s feelings.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard: I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.

Sheldon: She's going to be home at "eight-ish." Like, when is that? 8:01? 8:02? And what kind of scientist uses "-ish"?

Penny: I thought they fired you guys.
Sheldon: They did, but then they hired me back.
Leonard: Well, you better not be working on our project, because we're a team.
Sheldon: Leonard, there is no "I" in team. However, there is an "I" in "I'm working with the military and you're not." There's five of them, in fact.

Amy: Okay, what's the next test?
Sheldon: Loyalty. We need to choose someone who has our backs, someone who will keep our secrets even from each other.
Amy: Well, I don't have any secrets from you. Do you have secrets from me?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, that has been weighing on me for years.

Raj: This is going to be the biggest smackdown since my Aunt Noopur showed up at the family reunion wearing the same sari as my cousin Sruti.

Georgie: Picking on him? Is that what he told you?
Leonard: Well, what about the time you threw away his Halloween costume?
Georgie: Well, yeah, 'cause he was gonna dress as some girl scientist.
Leonard: Madame Curie?
Georgie: Oh, I didn't know she was a madam.

Howard: Maybe I'll just hang out here for a while.
Stuart: Great. And you can make fun of me all you want.
Howard: No, that's okay.
Stuart: No, no, no. Go on. I can take it. My feelings, like my extremities, are basically numb.

Raj: Boo-hoo. You know what you sound like? Babies. Two whiny babies. And there's nothing worse than being stuck with two whiny babies!
Howard: Oh. Oh, my God, I'm gonna have two babies.
Raj: No, no, no, no. Babies are great. You're lucky to have two babies. I mean, look at me, uh, I'm all alone.
I'm never gonna have babies, 'cause you can't make a baby watching Netflix with your dog.
Penny: Thanks for coming.

Stuart: I can't believe you went behind my back!
Raj: Which clearly means I want this more!
Stuart: You want to play a game of "who's more desperate" with me? 'Cause you're in the big leagues now, Bucko.

Amy: We just need a weekend date that's completely boring and uneventful.
Bernadette: Too bad you didn't get your ducks in a row, 'cause tonight would have been perfect.

Sheldon: Uh, let's-let's do it here, in-in the evenings, after everyone's gone home.
Bert: I just have to see if my evenings are free. That's a joke. They are.

Amy: It's so nice to meet you.
Missy: ­Aw.
Amy: I've always wanted a sister.
Sheldon: Really? Why?
Missy: I love you, too, Sheldon.
Leonard: Really? Why?