Amy: I don't want to be in the middle of this. No matter which way I vote, I'm either a bad friend, a bad fiancée, or an ungrateful recipient of a battery.
Sheldon: Next time I have a meeting in the shower, you're welcome to attend.
Amy: Sheldon. Sheldon for president. I pick Sheldon!

Raj: What about Sherman? Like, Sherman Wolowitz.
Leonard: Yeah, that's a kid who's gonna take his mother to prom.
Amy: Hey, Howard, you did that, right?
Howard: I didn't take her. She chaperoned. (chuckles) We slow-danced once.

Sheldon: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers.
Howard: What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
Sheldon: That would be hard to test, because irritating is a subjective quality.
Howard: Strongly disagree.

Amy: Sheldon, it's the American way, the peaceful transfer of power.
Sheldon: I don't know.
Leonard: Think about Ant-Man.
Sheldon: I'm always thinking about Ant-Man.
Leonard: Michael Douglas had the suit and then he passed it on to Paul Rudd.
Sheldon: Maybe you're right.
Amy: Really? The Ant-Man thing? That's what won you over?
Sheldon: Yes. He got the details right. That's how you use a superhero.

Penny: The pastrami truck moved.
Leonard: That is the danger of a restaurant on wheels.

Clerk: Here's your license. Now, if you wait over there, we'll call you when the officiant's ready.
Sheldon: Do we need a blood test?
Clerk: No.
Sheldon: Well, then, how will you know whether or not we have syphilis?
Clerk: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you don't have that.
Amy: Okay, Sheldon, you officially exceeded the number of times I hoped to hear the word "syphilis" on my wedding day.

Sheldon: Can you believe they said I was just like Edison? Yeah, and in front of a lady, no less.

Amy: I'm all for promoting women in science, but I don't really want to be on Wil's show.
Sheldon: Is it because kids may be there, and they're known carriers of head lice? I get that.
Amy: Sure, that's the reason.
Sheldon: Wait a minute. You're always bragging that lice aren't attracted to you because your scalp is so oily. That was on your dating profile.

Sheldon: I got you a little something to help you relax.
Amy: Sheldon, that is the sweetest, most- What what is this?
Sheldon: The notes from our quantum cognition project. I thought we could spend the evening grinding away on it.
Amy: (sighs) I just got home, I'm tired.
Sheldon: Of Howard, I know. So how about you and me make some beautiful science together?
Amy: Sheldon, I want to work on this with you, just not tonight. What if we get up early and do it in the morning? I promise, I'll be way more into it.
Sheldon: You know what? There was a time that you would've been happy to stay up and collaborate all night with me. And then wake up in the morning and do it some more.
Amy: (sighs) Fine, but can we make it quick?
Sheldon: No. If you're just gonna make me do all the work, then go to bed. But don't be surprised if you walk out here and catch me doing it myself.

Wil Wheaton: Hello, Sheldon. I suppose you've come here to tell me that you've moved me to your super secret enemies list.
Sheldon: I don't have a super secret enemies list. I'm not a Bond villain. I'm just a regular guy, with a regular enemies list.

Doctor Wolcott: Well, let me show you around. This is the chair where I do most of my thinking, my thinking about work. Now, my thinking about people who have wronged me, I do over there.
Sheldon: I've always said that I should get a grudge chair. Leonard, have I not always said that?
Leonard: Mm, you have, but you were worried you'd spend too much time in it.
Sheldon: Yeah. That is a real concern.

Sheldon: Well, luckily, I got the number of the company who's trying to reboot the show, so I need you all to call and register your displeasure.
Raj: Sheldon, no one's gonna do that.
Sheldon: Not true. I know of three calls they've received already: a Southern gentleman, um, a Cockney chimney sweep, and, uh, Mr. T, hmm? Who - spoiler alert - pities the fool who tries to reboot that show.

Leonard: Look, this is your wedding, just pick whoever you want. You don't need to worry about anyone else but yourself. You've kind of been training for this your whole life.

Wil Wheaton: Did you ever consider that maybe Arthur would be happy to know that his show has outlived him?
Sheldon: I doubt it. He was kind of a mean old crank.

Sheldon: Some news of our wedding. I have sent you all a "save the date" e-mail.
Penny: Oh, exciting. You guys picked a date?
Sheldon: Better. I picked 80 dates. And I need you to save them all until we narrow it down.