Wil Wheaton: [on TV] It's time for Professor Proton's science joke of the day. Why can you not trust atoms?
Sheldon: Hmm.
Wil Wheaton: [on TV] Because they make up everything.
Sheldon: Oh, that's funny! Yeah, because they do. They make up everything.

Leonard: How about you?
Howard: Oh, that depends on whether I tell Bernadette or not.
Bernadette: Howard, I can hear you. The baby monitor is on.
Howard: I know. I was joking. I'm gonna put it in a college fund. (Mimes saying no)

Amy: Penny gets 20 points for the sewing kit.
Sheldon: Yeah, minus five, because this is mine.

Amy: I'm trying to get our grant proposal together. Any chance you've finished up those mechanical drawings?
Howard: Oh, sorry. I was gonna do it last night, but I got kind of busy.
Raj: Yeah, you did.
Amy: What are they talking about?
Sheldon: I'll give you a hint. It's something that we have done four times.
Amy: Watched La La Land?
Sheldon: What? No. No. I've not watched La La Land four times. If you find the soundtrack on my phone, that's just 'cause our iTunes accounts are linked.

Leonard: You having a good day?
Penny: No, I missed an audition because my computer broke, and I didn't get the e-mail. Would've been a perfect part for me.
Sheldon: Was it waitress who ignores her customers? Because that's the role you were born to play.
Penny: Shut up and eat your burger.
Sheldon: Actually, it's a turkey club.
Penny: Didn't you order a burger?
Sheldon: I did, and yet here we are.

Howard: Are you guys working together on that meteorite project?
Sheldon: (sighs) Yes, fine, you found me out. I'm doing geology. Just, please, don't tell anyone.
Bert: Are you embarrassed of me?
Sheldon: Oh, no, no, no, not you. No, just the work that you've devoted your entire life to.

Amy: Your turn.
Sheldon: (runs randomizer) Ring bearer! Oh boy, I'm so glad that R2-D2 is still available.

Leonard: It's just a day trip, but we could take the ferry out to Catalina.
Penny: Great, let's do it.
Sheldon: (rushing in to the apartment) Amy's in the bathroom and I need to - (retches, bathroom door shuts, vomits loudly)
Penny: It's like I can hear the ocean already.

Penny: I went out with him because he's great. And if I kept going out with him, I probably would've married him, and that's a little scary because I just don't think I'm ready for that. You know, plus I have got to learn how to spell Hofstadter. I-I know there's a "D" in there, but it keeps moving every time I try and write it.

Penny: Okay, we're gonna start with some nice breathing exercises. (inhales, exhales)
Bernadette: Sorry. I can't think of anything except how flat your belly is.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Bernadette: Go put on some more clothes, you bitch.

Sheldon: You know, studies have shown that people distracted by emotional issues are poor drivers.
Howard: What about people distracted by irritating passengers?
Sheldon: That would be hard to test, because irritating is a subjective quality.
Howard: Strongly disagree.

Sheldon: There's something I need to tell you. Wow, you look amazing! That's not what I need to tell you. But you do!
Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: Something incredible just happened. Remember when you were telling me about my bow tie and how a little asymmetry is good?
Amy: Yeah?
Sheldon: My equations have been trying to describe an imperfect world, and the only way to do that is to introduce imperfection into the underlying theory.
Amy: So, instead of super symmetry, it would be super asymmetry?
Sheldon: (gasps) Super asymmetry. That's it! Give me your lipstick.
Amy: What?
Sheldon: Just give it to me, you beautiful thing! We have work to do!

Sheldon: I'm just a regular guy, with a regular enemies list. Which, by the way, you are no longer on.
Wil Wheaton: Really? Well, that is something. It's not something that I care about, but it is something.

Leonard: I want to know, why aren't you proud of me?
Beverly Hofstadter: Well, isn't the real question, "Why aren't you proud of yourself?"
Leonard: No, that is a question - and I ask it a lot - but let's stick with the one I asked you.
Beverly Hofstadter: But why do you think I'm not proud of you?
Leonard: Because you never say it. But two days into chatting with Penny, and you can't stop telling her how great she is.
Beverly Hofstadter: She is great. Honestly, of all of my children's spouses, she's the one that I'm most impressed by.
Leonard: Seriously?
Beverly Hofstadter: Yes. She's confident, she's thoughtful, and she never complained about you once. I know what kind of strength that takes.

Raj: I'll buy some Bitcoin. I just came into a little extra money when my dad raised my allowance.
Sheldon: You don't have to buy Bitcoin. You can mine it.
Leonard: Mine it? Like, mining gold?
Sheldon: Sort of. There's a limited amount, and we find it not by tunneling into the earth, but by using a computer to solve complex mathematical problems.
Howard: So let me get this straight. We have to write an elaborate program in order to find a fake coin that we can't spend on anything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: That sounds fun.
Raj: Yeah, I'm in.
Leonard: Staying up late, writing code, it sounds like a party.