Season 11 Quotes Page 18 of 87
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Bow Tie Asymmetry
Missy: Hey, Shelly.
Sheldon: I'm so glad you made it, Missy. This is my fiancée, Amy. Amy, this is my sister. If I ever need a kidney, this is where you get it.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Relaxation Integration
Ruchi: So, what do you guys do?
Raj: Well, I am an astrophysicist, so if you ever go out at night and look up at the stars, that's kind of my office. He sells comic books to children.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Relaxation Integration
Stuart: Actually, I own my own store. Uh, if you'd like to check it out sometime, I'm running a new promotion: buy anything, get taken out for a reasonably priced dinner.
Raj: Yeah, yeah, Stuart's struggling financially. But he doesn't let that get him down. He believes in himself. Even though the whole world has made it clear he should not.
Quote from Raj in the episode The Confidence Erosion
Raj: Do we know if there's life in the methane plumes of Enceladus or under the icy surface of Europa? Come back on Tuesday for my next show to find out. Spoiler alert: we don't.
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Tesla Recoil
Penny: I thought they fired you guys.
Sheldon: They did, but then they hired me back.
Leonard: Well, you better not be working on our project, because we're a team.
Sheldon: Leonard, there is no "I" in team. However, there is an "I" in "I'm working with the military and you're not." There's five of them, in fact.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Explosion Implosion
Penny: Like, what'd you do last night?
Beverly Hofstadter: I had Cuban food at the home of a man with whom I shared unsatisfying intercourse.
Penny: Wow. Okay.
Beverly Hofstadter: And to anticipate your next questions, roasted pork and sideways missionary.
Penny: Sure. Sure. 'Cause you were full.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Explosion Implosion
Penny: Oh, uh, hey, Beverly, you called my phone, not Leonard's.
Beverly Hofstadter: Actually, I was hoping to speak with you. Is this a good time?
Penny: Uh, that depends. What time is it where you are?
Beverly Hofstadter: Uh, just after 5:00.
Penny: (clears throat, and swaps fruit juice for a bottle of wine) Yeah, that counts.
Quote from Amy in the episode The Solo Oscillation
Amy: Okay, how do you want to play this? Do you want to pretend like nothing's bothering you and blow up later, or do you just want to be a maniac right now?
Quote from Sheldon in the episode The Collaboration Contamination
Amy: What's with the blinking?
Sheldon: It's Morse code. So we can talk about without hurting --'s feelings.
Amy: Sheldon, I don't know Morse code.
Howard: I do. And if you have something to say, you can say it to my face.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Bitcoin Entanglement
Howard: Do you think Zack stole it?
Penny: No, he doesn't know how to steal Bitcoin. I mean, he waves at trucks.
Quote from Professor Proton in the episode The Proton Regeneration
Sheldon: I can't believe you don't care.
Professor Proton: Believe it.
Sheldon: Well, I care, a lot, and Wil Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me.
Professor Proton: I think that's true of most people.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Proposal Proposal
Bernadette: But then we realized that it's a gift, in the sense that we didn't ask for it, and we may not have chosen it-
Howard: And we already have one.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Retraction Reaction
Penny: Hey, I thought you were coming right back.
Leonard: I was, but we're both depressed, and decided to drown our sorrows.
Penny: With mouthwash? Man, that is so summer camp.
Sheldon: It's Romulan ale, from Star Trek.
Leonard: It was briefly legalized during the alliance between the Romulan Empire and the Federation at the time of the Dominion War.
Penny: Aw, now I'm depressed.
Quote from Howard in the episode The Proton Regeneration
Bernadette: Can you get us a little snack?
Penny: You sure you don't want your spy to do it?
Howard: What are you talking about?
Penny: You really don't trust me? You had to have Amy stop by?
Bernadette: We trust you.
Howard: Yeah. You were a terrible waitress, and we still asked you to get us a snack.
Quote from Penny in the episode The Proton Regeneration
Bernadette: Howie, slow down.
Howard: I can't. I'm not allowed to eat for 12 hours before my surgery, and I only got two more minutes.
Leonard: What surgery are you having?
Raj: I'm stress eating. My best friend's getting a vasectomy tomorrow.
Penny: And you're sad you won't be able to bear his child?
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